It's not fair...

It's not fair that after dealing with a horrible ER experience, ER doctors (or PAs in this case) can put things into your head, bad things, and expect you to be okay dwelling on it until you can see a "specialist". 

The Army hospital here is the first hospital I've ever been to where the ER doped you up for your pain, put in a referral for a specialist, and sent you on your way...

I was lucky enough to at least get some kind of exam, only to be told things are worse than they seem. Then given meds to take home for the pain and sent home... With a referral into a specialist. It wouldn't bug me so much if it wasn't a two week wait to get in to see the specialist. 

I didn't really freak out at first, but the more the thoughts circulate in my mind, the more agitated I become, and I begin to worry. I always have these moments where I really don't worry, I know I will be fine. But then there's this whisper in the back of my head that says "why are you above it? It can happen to anyone. Do you think those already diagnosed knew they would be?" I think everyone, or most everyone, thinks they are above the bad stuff until it happens. I never thought I'd personally ever be effected by SIDS, but I watched my sister bury my niece. My sister never thought it would happen to her baby. 

But that's how life works. That's why I worry too much. I get the whole "it could never happen to me" mind set. I also understand the "you are above nothing" way of life. 

If the PA in the ER had put these thoughts in my head and then had performed tests that may have denied or supported her worries, I think I'd feel slightly better. Instead, I am left here thinking everything will be fine, with an antagonizing doubt in the back of my mind. It's really sucks. 

The cherry on top seems to be the way I notice things about the topic 10x more because it's in my head. I'm thinking about it, so I notice it and wonder if it's a sign. -->Stupid. I know.<-- but that's the way my pretty little, anxiety driven mind works. 

So now, in two weeks, I will see this specialist and I pray I will have some answers. 

An army against women

Okay, I get it, my blog is titled "my life as an American army wife," in which I almost titled it "the secret life of the American army wife" but I decided that sounded wrong. The truth is, I cannot stand the title of "army wife". It's not because I believe it's a bad title, or women shouldn't use it as job title, or because my life is any harder than yours, but because I believe it's been tainted. 

I am so fed up with the way military wives and female service members are harassed and treated in the military community and giving the general population a title simply groups all women where they don't necessarily belong. 

Female soldiers are deemed "whores" and "home wreckers" automatically because a few select are. But not ALL of them. Women are catty, yes, but men in this military world are demeaning and it's infuriating. 

The thing that gets under my skin is the soldiers who refer to military wives as dependas or Dependapotamus. These are defined as women who marry soldiers for the benefits and sit around at home all day and do not work. I'm sure people could add to that list as how they see a "dependa" but it's very demeaning. So many people tell us to let it go, that soldiers (and others) are just trying to get under our skin, but I can tell you right now that if anyone called me a dependa to my face, I'd lay them out in 2 seconds. We were married long before he chose to enlist. And so what if we choose for me to stay home and raise our children, why should I work to pay some else to raise my children? I could very well make my own way in this world without my soldier, but I have been blessed with a life where I can be home with my children and take care of my husband. 

Now I get it, many women do marry soldiers after a week or month of knowing them, but come on guys, you are not that stupid, you know damn well why she's marrying you after only knowing you a month, and if you don't... Well then maybe you deserve whatever is coming to you.  And don't get me wrong, not everyone who gets married after a month of knowing someone is for benefits, and not all are going to fail or end badly. 

And yes, the adultery rate and divorce rate are high amongst the military, but many of those are contract marriages-- marriages arranged between two soldiers or a soldier and friend to get military benefits. Or even more so, let's talk about the "swinger" community, or how many open marriages there are in the military. It's HUGE. 

My point is, people (male service members, specifically, and the wives who think they're above others) need to STOP demeaning women of the military, whether enlisted or married into it. We are NOT all dependas or whores. We are simply living our lives, which quite frankly is no one else's business. 

And guys, if you don't want to see women cheat... Don't give them a reason to. "Lead me not into temptation.." And I'm not referring to "bad husbands" but the single soldiers who get a kick out of seeking out married women. 

It's just best to mind your own business. You don't like it, then don't contribute to the problem. Labeling someone won't change anything, you're simply bullying women. 

Balance: Hackschooling

If there is one thing I am learning while homeschooling it's that balance is hard.  The balance *I* am looking for is hard.

I watched a video right as I was making the decision to homeschool called Hackschooling Makes Me Happy (link) and it really moved me.  It's a TEDx video of a 13 year old boy who explains why he is grateful his parents pulled him from traditional schooling.  I began researching the two people he discusses in the video: Sir Ken Robinson and Doctor Roger Walsh.  I am genuinely curious about what these two men have to offer.

Well... I watched Sir Ken Robinson's TED Video (link) and it was worth the 20 minutes. his story between 15:00 and 18:00 (that's a guesstimation) brought tears to my eyes.  For personal reasons. But he made some amazing points.  Like why are literature and math more important than creativity? And how can we declare that these lessons are what our children will need in their future, when we don't even know what the future holds?! Going back to the hack schooling video, all I want is for my children to be happy.  The eldest duckling is amazing at legos.  If he were in the Lego movie, he'd be a Master Builder because he can build some of the most AMAZING things with just his imagination.  He used his mind to build a Blackhawk with NO instructions and it was pretty spot on... (That's a refueling hose on the front)

I then began to look into the Doctor Roger Walsh.  I have to admit that I admire him and his life's work.  He looks into ways and reasons to be spiritually happy, something I personally strive for.  His 8 Therapeutic Lifestyle Changes, of TLC's have given me a great base for where I want to start with my children:

1. Exercise
2. Diet and Nutrition
3. Relationships
4. Recreation
5. Time in Nature
6. Contribution and Service
7. Relaxation and Stress Management
8. Religious or Spiritual Guidance

You can hear more about it in the Hackschooling video above and read more about it here.

I plan to do more research into all of this, but it has really given me a great understanding into WHO and WHAT I want my children to be when they grow up. I want them to be happy and healthy adults.  So I will always continue my journey of finding balance in teaching them.

The "This is it, I'm going to do it this time" moment...

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have struggled with my weight, since, well,  I became a "tween".  As a child I was not fat at all, but as I hit about 6th grade, I started to fill out a lot more.  As a teenager I always had more chub on me, but still was not fat.  I battled my weight after my first two children, and things took a turn for the worse when my dad died in March 2010.  I turned to food and ate the crap out of some Lays BBQ potato chips... And I got pretty freaking fat.

So I tried Atkins, Eat Right for your Blood type, South Beach, HCG diet (nearly killed me, literally), and so on and so forth.  Then I found ACE.  That stuff ROCKED MY WORLD! Then we moved 4,000 miles and half an ocean away from home. Along with that, they had to reformulate ACE and to be quite frank, IT SUCKS! Then January 1, 2014 I quit smoking, and although I LOVE not smoking, I turned to food instead.  Between the anxiety of the move and an entire life overhaul, I took away the only anxiety relief that didn't give me any ridiculous (immediate) side effects. 

For a while I was going to the gym and walking 5+ miles per day.  I cannot say I noticed a difference, but the weight still packed on because I was being a fatty when it came to food.  Well it's 8 months later and I put back on 40 of the 53lbs I lost on ACE... It's absolutely devastating. 

My biggest issue is that I ALWAYS believe that I have finally found that mindset of "this is it, I am going to do it this time."  You know what I am talking about... The people who tell those stories of "One day I woke up and just started running and here I am a bagillion pounds lighter..."!?!  Every time I believe I have found this moment, I fail. Miserably. 

My biggest faults are:
1. I am a "I want what I want, and I want it NOW" kind of person, and
2. I allow defeat.  No matter how public I make it known that I am exercising and that I am going to do it this time, to make myself accountable, I falter.  Because really, why do I care what other people think about me quitting?! You don't really know me, why should I care?! Food makes me happy, not you.

I will admit, two things are very different this time.
1. The other day was a really crappy day.  I ate 4 packs of fruit snacks, and as I did so I had this mentality of "hahaha, I'm going to LOVE this!" and when I finished those fruit snacks, I realized I didn't love it at all. I actually felt heart broken over the fact that I had just defeated myself.  I had taken away the pride I had felt in all of my hard work thus far. I felt so horrible.
That wasn't my life changing moment, but it sure as heck was a learning moment. 
One step forward.
2. My children have decided they like watching Mom exercise. I usually exercise early morning or while the littles are napping, so really it's only the bigs (6&7) watching me, but they love watching me do Zumba on the Wii.  Today I did 30 minutes of Zumba, and then I decided I would do some Body Rockers (I will link below).  I love Body Rockers, but I have NEVER completed any of their challenges I've started. They do 30 day challenges quite often and I've failed myself with everyone of them.  Well today I did day 5 of their Transformer challenge.  It was an arm day.  At one point I was almost in tears because my triceps felt like they were tearing apart! And right before I hit the ground in defeat during the last round, (3 rounds), my elder son says to me "come on mom, keep going. I know you can do it!" And I did.  I kept going.  I knew he had no idea how hard it was for me, and he hated to see me struggle, but he knew (at 7 years old) that if I kept going I could only get better.  When I finished he said to me "don't you feel happy, mom? You did it. You didn't quit, mom!" And I just smiled, laying on the floor trying to will my arms to move.

At that moment it hit me.  I may have nothing to prove to anyone else in this virtual world, but I WANT to prove myself to my children.  I want them to see mom do it.  My son showed me that he understood a lesson I have been teaching him since he started walking: Don't give up. You can only get better if you keep trying. I am so proud of my children and I want them to be proud of me, too.

Lastly...
For the first time, I have actually set goals. Not just a final goal of what I want to achieve, but small goals to get me there.
My first goals it complete a 30 day challenge.  I have not been following Body Rocks days to a T, because I watch them before hand, and some of them I snort at because I know if I attempted it, I would quit and walk away.  I know I am okay doing to ones I will struggle through, but complete.  I took before pictures so I can see what 30 days of bustin' butt looks like. 
My next goal is to make it to 90 days. 
Next is six months, and last is One year. 
My ultimate goal is to make fitness an everyday occurrence for the rest of my life. 

So is this my life changing moment? I don't know.  I sure hope so, but the best thing I can do is take it one step at a time.


Body Rock YouTube Channel

Life is a big ball of crazy!

I have felt the want to blog again, so I have decided to tell whomever feels like reading about our crazy life here in Hawaii.  Again. Ha!

After our two boys attended school here for 3/4 of the 2013-2014 school year, we have made the decision to homeschool the 2014-2015 school year.  The school system here in Hawaii is ridiculous in my opinion.  Our eldest son had an awesome teacher last year for first grade, but our younger son who was a kindergartener, he suffered because of his teacher, and the school in general. The boys were always so crabby because they were stressed out. So, it was an easy decision to homeschool.  I decided my children deserve to enjoy their childhood and learn in ways that are fit to them.  I doubt myself almost everyday. I doubt my abilities to give them what they need, but I strive everyday to make sure I am giving them what they need. 
And honestly, there has been so much death and loss around us lately that I feel honored to have my children with me everyday. 

This leads to another major event in our life: we are fostering two small children. 
**I don't want to give to many details in the best interest of the children and the family, but know that there is A LOT to this story, and not necessarily against the parents.**

A coworker of the hubster approached him and explained their family situation and asked if we would be willing to foster their children.  Unfortunately, their children had been pulled from their home over an accident that occurred in their home.  A bad judgment call, something every parent makes sometime in their parenthood, led to an accident, that led to a 9-1-1 call, that led to an overnight hospital stay, that led to a social worker showing up.  The whole situation is REALLY messed up, but it's not my story to tell.  I will just say that I believe the state withholding the children from being returned to their parents for more than 4 months is wrong.  I had a friend in another state whose daughter DIED in an accident at home and their other child was returned to them sooner than this.... But, what I can do is provide a safe, loving, nurturing home for these children.  The last foster home they were in (the first two months they went through three different foster homes...) was not a good one.  The young boy was abused by two other foster children, he came to me unbathed, covered in bug bites, and with bite mark scars.  It was really sad. The state was about to put these littles in a shelter because they had no other foster families available. That's why we stepped up.  We have done our best to make these children feel welcome and loved, and they have grown so much in the almost two months they have been here!  These poor babies have been through so much, and they continue to go through it every time they have to leave their parents and come back to our home.  Watching the little boys lip tremble and the tears in his eyes as he stares off wondering why he can't be with his parents is the hardest thing I've dealt with.  Hearing him scream for his mother as she walks out the door after dropping them off, it just kills me.  There are far worse parents out there, and yet good parents, who don't abuse their children, but who love their children, provide them a clean home, clean clothes, water, and food have to be punished over an accident.  And the thing is, they are punishing these children.  They are both under the age of 3, and you can see the anger and sadness in them.  They don't understand why they get to be with their parents one moment (for visitation) and ripped away AGAIN, over and over.  I get that there is a system and they have to follow it, but I do believe power was abused in this situation.  Again, it's not up to me, but my heart is in the best interest of the children... Because every night I put them to bed imagining what my children would be feeling if they had to be taken away from me, and it KILLS me. 

This has given me a whole new appreciation for my children.  Their parents have missed the last 5 months of their lives.  They have missed the baby learning to crawl AND walk! They have missed new words and discoveries.  They have missed cuddles, and bedtime stories.  I don't want to ever know what that feels like.  So I keep my babies close, I keep their happiness on my mind all day, every day, and I make sure they feel loved unconditionally. 

The journey of homeschooling and fostering has really changed me in so many ways.  I have opened my mind to so much and my heart...


Stick around to tag along through our journey :)

Live.Love.Laugh

Life in Hawaii

It's really not horrible. We've been here 6 months, and I'd say the first four months I couldn't imagine being stationed anywhere else.... But.... Now it's getting to the point of feeling isolated. 

When you have 3 kids, you can't just jump on a plane and fly home... Unless you can easily pull 3-4k outta your butt. Then there's Space-a flights aka airforce flights that have room for passengers. But they very rarely fly into Wisconsin and a flight back from Wisconsin is even more rare. The flights are hit or miss, so trying to line up a commercial flight can be dangerous, plus the chance of being stranded somewhere until you can get on a flight... But it's worth the risk if I can figure it all out. Because I want to go home for a visit. 

As for oahu... It's crowded. Honolulu and Waikiki are typical tourist big city crap. They are dirty, over populated, and full of tourist...and homeless people... I avoid Honolulu at all costs! As for north shore and the windward side of the island... They are amazing! I love going to north shore! Bellows beach on the windward side is amazing.  Driving through the mountains is amazing. And now that the hubsters decided to buy a Harley, I will be able to get out and do a lot more! I plan on getting a carrier and taking the littlest duckling with me! 

Homeless people and stray animals cover this island... And at first I had a hard time with seeing so much of it, but I made a vow to do something to help. I thought I'd make blankets or work a soup kitchen... Well I veered a different way and have become involved with animal shelters. When Bob Barker said to neuter and spade your pets, Hawaii was the reason why... Lol. Seriously, this island has soooo many stray animals, I now understand why it's so hard to get a pet into Hawaii and why they want to keep rabies at bay. There are stray animals EVEEYWHERE. Cats just stop in the middle of the road to lick their butts, and homeless people breed dogs to sell the puppies they cannot care for to make money. But with all that comes issues like dog fighting. It's a huge thing out here. Dogs get stolen to use as bate dogs, people pick them off of craigslist to use as bate dogs. We also have quite a few puppy mills here on the island. 

I got involved with a rescue called PAWS of Hawaii. It is solely run by a young lady who does everything she can for her animals. She is picky about who adopts and so forth. But her animals are her everything. We came across one of their pups, who was believed to be a puppy mill pup. He was found not too far from one. He had very little fur, scab, fleas, ticks. He was in rough shape. We took him in when he was around 15 weeks. We gave him special baths and ear drops and slowly but surely his health began to turn around. We named him Emmett and he has grown into our hearts forever. Then we started to foster dogs. We were going to take in a beautiful boy named tiger, but someone had fallen in love with him, so instead, PAWS asked if we would like to adopt an itty bitty fuzz ball they call teddy bear. He too was not fully healthy after being found emaciated with his mom and sister. He's a shepherd/lab mix and when we got him at 8 weeks, he was only 3.6lbs. Almost 3 weeks later and he's about to hit 6lbs!!! We're waiting to find out if all the worms are gone, too, but with how well he's been eating, I think we're good! We changed his name to Brewer, which my hubby picked out. He was excited that he finally for to name a pet lol. The oldest duckling and I wanted to call him Monroe... But he's our sweet little fuzzy wuzzy. 

There is a lot to do here on this rock, it's just a matter of doing it. Food quality has also been a big thing for me. Our commissary here sucks ass. The meats give is gut rot every single time. The produce spoils easily and just bleck. I've found a couple farmers markets, it's just a matter of getting to them ;) I've also found a natural food store called down to earth, so I plan to check that out too. Stuff is definitely more expensive here. 

All in all it's not a horrible place to live. It's a matter of what you make of it. Right now I'm just homesick. 

This is my Brewer (I call him boo boo or brewer bear)

And this is my Emmett. My sweet sweet shmemmett lol. He loves the beach, but hates the water....

Army OCONUS move continued. Again.

I will post a link to the original posts when I'm on my computer ;)

Okay okay I know it's been almost four months since I've done an update and I will probably give you a couple. 

So for the follow up on our OCONUS move to Hawaii. 

It was CHAOS. It's a good thing I love chaos though, right?!?

Hubby got home from AIT on September 11, 2013. My last post was from September 16, 2013 so some things changed shortly after that last post. i was determined that even though fort eustis would not help us set up our move, there still had to be away other than waiting for hubby to get to Hawaii and set up the move. So I nagged fort eustis. Finally I got a person smart enough to tell me to call our closest base to set up the movers. 

Problem 1.  Our closest army base is my reserve/national guard base and they do not handle stuff like this. So then I decide to call the next closest military base, Great Lakes naval base. And guess what, they could help me!!!!  And they did it without attitude!!!!

If you've ever heard of a website called move.gov well you may know that it's confusing as hell! But mr. Navy man informed me that even though you are not supposed to use move.gov on your first move or an OCONUS move, because I was two hours away from my closest housing office, I could fill out the forms on move.gov, fax them to him with all the paperwork I needed (which included: his orders; the first page of his enlistment contract; and if he wasn't there to sign it, then a copy of our POA).

After getting it all faxed to him, he called and said "hey, the movers can be there as soon as September 30th (one week away) I said great!!! (It wasn't really though because I wasn't expecting them soo soon! But oh well.) Then Tuesday 9/24 I get a call from the moving company informing me that they are actually booked on Monday 9/30, but they could come Friday 9/27 or there next appointment isn't until October 17. I was all "the 27th sounds great!" ...then I got off the phone and said "holy !$&/,!:&$;)/)87 that's only 3 days to get everything ready!!  Luckily I have AMAZING family and neighbors who came to help me.  My mother-in-law and one of my sister-in-laws were awesome enough to clean out my garage (left overs from garage sale) and make trip after trip to good will!  My best friend, who is also my youngest SIL, well she was amazing. She helped me so much.

But things took another turn into chaos town.  The reason I was all for the movers coming sooner rather than later was because the ducklings and I were planning to flyout to Hawaii November 1st. So this would have meant only a week without our household goods (HHG). Wellllllll that would be just too convenient right?! 

My hubby calls me late Tuesdays (9/24) and informs me that housing office told him if his family could be in Hawaii BY October 1st we would have a brand new 4-bedroom house ready for us. I nearly crapped my pants. That was a week away.!! They told him if we weren't in Hawaii by October first we'd be bumped down the waiting list and may not get a house until December 1st or later. I about cried. 

So Wednesday morning I called Wells Fargo first, because if they didn't have our letter ready for us to move the van, well then we couldn't ship it.  Low and behold the letter was ready and faxed back to my eldest SIL! Which was not expected because I had just faxed the request to them two days prior and the lady told me it usually takes 5-7 business days. So fate was on my side. 

The next step was setting up to have the van shipped. I knew St. Louis was the closest port, but I had to figure out how I would get from St. Louis back to Milwaukee. That's where my mama comes in and I'll get to that ;) but to ship the van I could bring it in Monday-Friday between 8am and 3pm I believe. I made sure to have ALL paperwork, orders, title, etc ready to go. And when they tell you that the vehicle has to be IMMACULATELY clean, THEY ARE NOT JOKING!! I had a little bit of small pebbles on the drivers side floor and they made me go across the street to the car wash and vacuum my van!! They don't mess around!

Anyways back to setting up our move.

I called fort eustis and told them I needed to set up travel arrangements for myself and our children. They apparently didn't have hubby's amended orders so I had to scan them in and email them to the lady.  She called me back shortly after and we started to get things set up. We decided to flyout of St. Louis instead of Milwaukee. It was the only way we could do it. Then they informed me that they can only send the e-tickets to a .gov email. I about died. I got ahold of the hubby who gave me his email, had them email it to his email account and then he forwarded them to me. 

And that was it. All we had to do was have the movers come in two days, drive to and drop the van off in St. Louis, and board a plane. By 9am Wednesday 9/25, my children and I had less than a week in our home. My best friend / SIL called me and when I told her, she rushed over. The word spread like wild fire and the next thing I knew I had half a dozen people helping me. While many of us cried. My SIL spent every night with me until we left. 

Once we got here, we took a shuttle from the USO, and got to the Inn on Schofield around 8pm and we were all exhausted. We spent 3 nights in the Inn and then moved into our house with loaner furniture until our stuff arrive 5 weeks later. One thing I do recommend, is if your vehicle is not here yet, rent a car! It's expensive. For an Altima that we rented here on post, at the enterprise, it cost us about a $1000 for the month, but it was sooooo worth it! 

OCONUS MOVE - Continued...

Well I have some kind of update on our OCONUS move to Hawaii and it's not the kind of update I had hoped to give...

You can find the original post Here

Well on August 19, my soldier hubster had his EFMP appointment. The lady informed him that we all should medically be cleared and there are no concerns. They told him about 5-7 days to get his amended orders... Wellllll..... 2 WEEKS later he was finally handed his amended orders. This meant 6 days before he graduates AIT... And transportation had no appointments left. Oh joy. He got his tickets of course, but was not able to set up movers. We have to wait until he is in Hawaii to set up movers now. (SMDH in frustration).

He is home right now so we are working on the paperwork for the lien in the van, we found a new home for our dog (which has left a hollow ache in my chest), and we sold hubsters car.... I just feel so exhausted over this whole things. I used to be so excited and now I feel like WTFE.... I'm over it.

The positive side is... I filled out our housing application and emailed them his orders so as soon as he signs into the base we are added to the waiting list for a house and it back dates to when he left AIT. Also, the kids and I get more time with friends and family.

So I think that's about it. I'll update you more as the next month rolls on... And on and on and on.

3-Day Potty Training: Day 3

Okay so it's only 5:00pm but I am feeling so hopeful that she made that "click". We had a rough night. The eldest duckling woke up in excruciating abdominal pain and then puked twice. Honestly I thought it was food poisoning... But I'm guessing its just a virus. So no sleep AGAIN (I'm ready to cry here) and I totally slacked with potty training today. I still put her in undies because I didn't want to undo what's been done so far. Accident after accident occurred... Then I tried to lay her down for a nap and put a diaper on her. She didn't nap and just played in her crib.  When I got her up I was baking soft pretzels (recipe coming soon) and left her diaper on. Then I felt guilty so I took it off and let her run naked. The next thing I know she's yelling "I pee!" And the boy ducklings checked her potty and the middle duckling says "it looks like chocolate milk.." So I was thinking she emptied her chocolate almond milk into her potty and she just said she peed lol. Well then I smelt it. She Hershey squirted all up in her potty lol. We celebrated her and cheered for her success. She got so excited she started shaking the potty lol. Then it became a mess. *gag* anyways... She has since peed in her potty twice on her own with no fighting and no accidents *knock on wood* !!!!! I really hope this is the click!!!!

7:40pm

The rest of the evening was great!! No accidents!!!! I am praying this holds up and we keep moving forward. Tonight when I went to put her cloth diaper on for bed she became upset, but when I told her she could put undies on again in the morning she was fine.  I think I'm going to wait until we are moved to worry about nap time and night time training... We'll see how daytime continues to go!!! I am so happy right now!!! 

3-Day Potty Training: Day 2

Potty training is exhausting!! 

It also doesn't help that I had about an hour of sleep last night. 

But I am starting to feel defeated with this 3-day program. I can definitely tell she's not going to wake up tomorrow and something will have clicked... I have followed the plan to the Tee and I feel like she's becoming more deterred from the potty than anything. 

We woke up, put on clean undies and had breakfast. She had one accident and then 4 straight times of peeing in the potty. Then she pooped in her undies, which made me nervous that she maybe has the stomach bug I had yesterday because it came on quickly. Then came nap time. She actually stayed fairly dry today. 

Her brothers came home during nap time and that's when things started to go down hill. She woke up crabby, and she  had accident after accident including another poop. As soon as she stood still I checked her and realized she was pooping so I threw her on the potty and nothing happened.. I turned around for a minute the clean the poop smears on her potty and she peed on the floor... The only time I can get her to pee on the potty still is if I put her on there and hold her there while she fights it. It was looking up this morning because she would only fight me until she actually started to fully pee and then she'd watch herself pee. Yesterday it was scream and cry until she was done peeing and had a treat. So I really thought we were making progress... But this evening has me feeling defeated. 

If she doesn't make any improvement in the next few days I am just going to lay off PT until we get to Hawaii. But I really want to have this done before then....

Please please please let tomorrow be better!!

3-Day Potty Training Method- DAY 1

Today has been interesting to say the least! She is loving wearing her undies! This morning we started with a whole grain breakfast and a lot of juice and water. She then sat on the potty and I talked about being a big girl today and using her potty. She was really excited!! Even her big brothers cheered her on and encouraged her!

Well, we had two accidents in the first two hours. The second one was hilarious. We were in the kitchen getting more water and she peed on the floor. Then she started to freak out and slipped in the puddle. I wanted to laugh but I just played it off and we ran to the potty. Then the cues started coming. She would start to pee a little and then grab herself. The first time she did it, I ran her to the potty and she sat there but didn't pee. She stood up and started peeing next to her potty so I quickly sat her on the potty and that's where the trouble started. 

She FLIPPED out!!!

She started to cry, but I held her on the potty while she was still peeing and I cheered her on and celebrated her doing it. After she was finished she just sat there. I handed her toilet paper because she likes to wipe herself and isn't bad at it, and then I gave her a small baggy of M&M's and then the incident was forgotten. We dumped her pee in the potty and she flushed the toilet and said bye bye pee pee!! 

We had an exact same incident a little while later with her peeing a little, us running to the potty, her crying about peeing in the potty, and this time M&M's weren't enough, so I treated her with fruit snacks. 

Then came nap time. The program suggests NOT putting them in a diaper or pull up, but baby ducklings crib is not yet a toddler bed so there is no way she could get up and go. So I decided to put her in a cloth diaper. This way she'd still feel the wetness but it wouldn't be such a big mess. 

After her nap I felt like we made a big step forward. We sat on the potty and then put undies on. I was putting pizza on a plate for us when she ran to the bathroom and I heard her potty move. I ran in there and her undies were damp but not soaked so we sat on the potty for about 10 minutes and nothing... So before our dinner got cold we put new undies on... And she peed within a few minutes. I was just proud she ran to the bathroom on her own. It was a good sign. Then after we ate we sat down and watched Barney and she dampened again so we ran to the potty and again with the crying and trying to stand up while peeing and this time fruit snacks nor M&M's worked... But she finished and we did the flushing routine and she got some fruit snacks and 3 M&M's and all was calm. We went back to watch Barney and she was playing in her toy area and I was watching her. She ran over by me and grunted and I scooped her up and ran to the bathroom, but we were too late. She was crying and I was trying to reassure her but she didn't want me to take her undies off and she got poop all over her legs because of it but I finally got them off and wiped her down. I then put her poop in her potty and explained that's where poop goes. Then I  put it in the toilet and we flushed it. I cleaned out her potty and then stuck her in the bath. After bath time she had one more accident and no more peeing in the potty. She's CD'd and in bed. 

I have all her soiled undies in the wash now, which I need to go put in the dryer. So for the first day it wasn't too bad!! I'm really hoping the next two days go well and she keeps getting better at it!!

I have some kind of stomach bug and it made the day more interesting and my mom didn't get here until noon to pick the boys up, but it wasn't a bad experience at all. Wish us luck for the next two days!

3-Day Potty Training Technique

Well here goes nothing. I signed up and got the ebook for the 3-Day potty training technique. The princess duckling turns two in one week and I'd say she's been ready for about two months. I just haven't been able to find 3 straight days of being able to practice this technique (this weekend we had to cancel plans because of illness striking again), so I've been working on preparing her.  She likes to flush the toilet and say "bye bye pee pee" and she LOVES to wear undies, especially over her diaper (because she doesn't like the feeling of peeing on herself). So I am really hoping we will be successful and get potty training going the next three days. She's had a fever the last 24 hours and a stuffy nose but she seems to be in good spirits and she was so excited to pick out her new potty and undies! We also have plenty of snacks, juice, water, and high fiber snacks. We also picked up some rewards like stickers, M&M's, and fruit snacks. 

My worries are:

1. She's sick so she may not be interested in this at all

And

2. We move in a month to Hawaii, so I'm afraid we'll regress. But She seems really ready to do this so my fingers are crossed. 

Today was the final day of preparations. 

We picked out her new potty and undies,

Stocked the house with fun things like coloring books and cookies to bake! We have movies picked out and the tea party set ready to go!

I also am in the process of preparing meals for the next 3 days and making sure laundry and cleaning are done. The older boy ducklings are going to be spending the weekend at my moms so I can focus on little duckling and potty training. 

I have been talking to her all day about being a big girl and putting her poop and pee in the potty. It also helps that she has a slight rash down there right now and I explained to her that by not wearing diapers anymore she won't get owwies there no more (and she took her diaper off and put undies on all by herself!) so I am hoping these are all good signs of what's to come! 

I was telling the soldier about all of this and I kept using the word "panties" and he kept telling me that's not allowed! He said panties are the sassy underwear I wear and his daughter is not allowed to wear those kind of underwear until she moves out lol. He cracks me up!!! He will be home from training in just under two weeks so I'm hoping to have her trained before then!!! 

I will keep you posted day by day!!!

And because I'm in my phone I can't type the link in as usual, so here's the web address for the 3-day program:

www.startpottytraining.com

Army Move - OCONUS

So I am really upset because I just spent the last hour typing this up on my iPhone, only for my phone to decide to shut down the Blogger app on its own and NOT save my post... Le sigh.... So hopefully this one will turn out as good as, if not better than the first one!!!

So here's my deal... My soldier just got his written orders to Hawaii about 3 weeks ago.  So I am going to do my best to tell you about what I know already and how our process of getting the ducklings and I added to his orders so we can go with him is going!

**I added a part below about getting your pet to Hawaii**

Any army move is challenging... er so I hear.  I feel like getting an OCONUS (off continental US) location as a FDS (first duty station) is a little more overwhelming because there is so much more to stress over! But again, I have nothing to compare it to... I am going to make you a simple list off the top of my head of what you can do to get the process started -- even if your soldier has not received projected or written orders yet, get this stuff done ASAP so it's less of a stress later if his orders do end up being for an OCONUS location!!! I will delve into details after!

1. And this may be the most important to make this whole process go smoother... MAKE SURE YOUR SOLDIER IS ON TOP OF THEIR CRAP!! Seriously! I know no one wants to be a nagging spouse, but I genuinely believe this is crucial to not being another horror story! If they have questions, they can ask their sergeants, it's one of the things they are there for!

2. All dependents (spouse and kids) must have a physical done! And ladies, if you haven't had a lady check done in the last 12 months... well get 'er done! It's a requirement!

3. After all the physicals are done, order ALL medical records.  This could save you from having to hunt down a military doctor if they question something from your physical!!

4. If you have a cat or a dog, get the rabies blood test done ASAP!!! If you go to HAWAII your pet has to wait 120 days from the day the lab receives their blood work before entering Hawaii otherwise they will be quarantined!  *More on this below!*

When your soldier gets to AIT they should fill out an EFMP form.  This form will identify whether their dependents have any special medical needs or not. When they get their written orders for an OCONUS location, you should mail your soldier your medical records and physical results. They will then contact the EFMP office on their base (usually located in the hospital) and set up an appointment to bring over the paper work and records.  They should also go to the hospital ASAP and register you and any children!  After the appointment they will review your physical results and any part of your records that is needed.  Upon approval they will pass the information along to your soldiers new duty station and that duty station (in our case Hawaii) will grant command sponsorship. They will add your name(s) to your soldiers orders and present him with those new orders. --we have not completed this part yet, my soldiers appointment is scheduled in 2 weeks which is nerve wracking because that doesn't leave us much time until his report date!

So in short, you need to be medically cleared to get command sponsorship, and you need command sponsorship to get your name on their orders, and you need your name(s) on their orders in order to set up housing and movers. Yes, it's a heck of a process!!!

While this is all being done, you can start figuring things out at home.  If you have a loan on your car you need to get written consent from the loan provider to move your car "overseas".  We still have a loan on our Odyssey through Wells Fargo.  They require that we provide a letter stating where we are moving, how long we will be there, proof of insurance with "Wells Fargo" listed on the insurance information, and a copy of the soldiers orders.  It's really not that big of a hassle compared to some of the other stuff! Also, start purging your home of anything you don't need or have not used in at least a year. Depending on your soldiers pay grade there is a weight allotment for shipping.  I know an E4 with dependents is 8,000lbs. Start trashing, donating, and hosting a rummage sale.  If you have a second vehicle, you may want to consider selling it.  The Army only pays to ship one vehicle, the other one is your out of pocket expense!!
***Speaking of out of pocket expenses, you should also know that when you get to your OCONUS duty station, if you do not have a house waiting for you, you will have to stay in a hotel.  You will more than likely be paying for that out of pocket, and then the Army will reimburse you AFTER, for up to 10 days.  It takes 3-5 weeks for your belongings to get there, including your vehicle, so you may have to rent a car for your soldier to get to and from work. This is all out of pocket expenses that you need to prepare for which is another reason I suggest selling your second vehicle and having a rummage sale!

The best advice I can give is to stay calm and try to turn everything over to God (or whichever higher power you believe in) because stressing over it will not change a thing! Be careful what you read, I read sooo much information on the Army FIC forum including horror stories that I stressed to the point of getting shingles! It's not been fun.  But I decided that I am going to turn it over to God and accept that whatever happens, happens, and that's the way it's meant to be!! Good luck and don't hesitate to ask questions! I will update more as I finish going through this whole process!!


**MOVING YOUR PET TO HAWAII**
If you haven't already looked into how to get your pet to Hawaii... well just a FYI... it's uber stressful!! Hawaii has some of the strictest quarantine laws because the Islands DO NOT have rabies on them, so they take extra precautions to make sure they don't start now! I will tell you more about our plan with our precious boy Capone after I type this out, but here's a simple break down on the process to get your pet ( a dog in our case) to Hawaii!

The Hawaii State Department of Agriculture gives in lengthy detail the process of getting your pet into Hawaii, but here is a rough break down! Here is the website for the Animal Quarantine Information Page for Hawaii.  I got the information below from this website, which provides even more great information!

• Allow at least five months, even though the waiting period is 120 days. The waiting period starts after all the shots and blood work is done and received.
• Dogs and cats will need original records of vaccinations signed by a veterinarian, and this can be hard to obtain if you have been lax about shots or have moved.
• After the animals have two rabies vaccinations at least 30 days apart, the blood work is sent to the lab to be checked, and the results are then sent to Hawaii.  At that point you can find out online when the first day your pet is allowed into the state.
• No more than 14 days before the pets arrive in Hawaii a veterinarian must apply a certain flea/tick preparation to the animals, and no more than 10 days before the vets must prepare a health certificate. Note that these are for the dates you are actually traveling.
• Pets must arrive by 3:30 pm in order for them to be released directly, otherwise they are transferred to the quarantine site and held up to 5 days (for the “five days or less” option, which costs $225).

This is our plan as of right now... I was sooo overwhelmed with everything and this move, we were going to give our dog up.  It broke my heart because he is my 4th child.  I love him so much.  I posted it online (FB) and was very particular about what kind of home we wanted for him.  Well my sister-in-law called me and said they would take him.  Well our eldest duckling had a break down over leaving Capone behind.  I talked to the hubster and my sister-in-law and this is what we are going to do: I am going to set up to have his blood work done next week.  We will get it sent in and everything ready to go. My sister-in-law is going to keep him for about 6 months while we move and get situated in our new home.  Then we will start working to get him over there.  This will get us through the 120 day wait period and allow us to get settled without dealing with a puppy dog on top of things. Oh and if  your pet does need to be quarantined, the Army will help pay for up to $500 of the quarantine cost, which for a full 6 month quarantine is less than half...

So I think this about wraps it all up.  I will update as our journey continues, but I hope this helps!

5 months... --->SLACKER<--- UPDATE on us!!!

Wow, sorry about that guys, it's been almost exactly five months since my last post!! Crazy!! Life has been crazy!! 

Over the past 5 months we have gone to Florida for two weeks, came home for a week and left for our soldiers BCT graduation. While in South Carolina for the graduation, the little girl of the family pulled a freshly brewed cup of coffee over on herself giving her second degree burns, two of them border lined third degree. Of course we rushed her to the ER, where they decided that since the Burns covered 10% of her body she needed to be transported down to the Augusta, GA burn center... The complication with this, is that we needed to have our soldier to Virginia by midnight the next night.... He called his 1st sergeant who totally understood and told him to get there when he could and bring a letter from the doctor to verify. The doctors were great and worked with  us and got our baby girl all cleaned up and bandaged within a few hours and we were ready to head to Virginia by noon the next day (accident happened on a Thursday and we were released on Friday). 

In the ER in Columbia, SC

Being transported to Augusta, GA

Waiting to be discharged after being bandaged

Her burns two weeks after the accident

She healed up beautifully!!!

We got our soldier to Virginia by 9pm and then he was granted a weekend pass so we got to enjoy another day with him! Aside from the little accident it was a great trip and it was soooooo emotional to see him. The kids were crying, he teared up and I just wanted to hug him and never let go!

It was so amazing. And then... AIT started. And one thing they don't warn you about is hold backs to get classed. His graduation date from AIT should have been July 31, and well it's August 6, and he's still there... He waited 7 weeks to get put in classes. In other words, he sat at AIT cleaning alllll day until his name was finally called to be put in a class. They also don't tell you that they have 1st, 2nd, and 3rd shift classes. He was put in a 2nd shift class which has worked out well!! In the middle of July he was finally handed written orders and my jaw dropped when I learned where we are going.... HAWAII!!! I never thought we'd end up with an OCONUS location but I was very excited... At first.  I will write another post of how to prepare for an OCONUS move, particularly to Hawaii since that is the only place I've moved to with the Army lol. Well am about to move to...

It's been a crazy journey, but I know it's soooo going to be worth it!!!

Neglectful

Sorry I have been so neglectful of the blog... It's been far from my mind as we are still battling illness in this house, and I have lost my heart for cooking and crafting! I have been trying to keep the ducklings busy, and my little spare time in between everything has been go towards a puzzle... yes a puzzle.  My sister and I used to do them all the time before my she passed away almost 3 years ago.  And for some reason when I feel sad or "grieving" puzzles calm my mind.  I've had to restart it three times because the sassy princess duckling has destroyed it, but it's coming along nicely now!

We are halfway through BCT, so in a way it's harder and easier.  I missed his call Thursday night to let me know he phased up last week.  That was absolutely devastating.  I always have my phone glued to me, even if I know it's the middle of the day and he's training... but I thought I had it in my pocket and we were at the oldest ducklings swim lessons and I had actually left it in the diaper bag in the swim locker room... I was absolutely devastated.  I was and still am so mad at myself.  I haven't gotten a phone call since his 72 hour call telling me he made it to actual training.  And I was lucky enough to receive that on Valentine's Day!  I miss him so much!

Since he left we have had the stomach flu, the actual flu, croup, and now we are "quarantined" because after taking the Princess duckling to the doctor yesterday, and paying for a Saturday visit, the doctor thinks she may have whooping cough! Freaking great, right?! Since they did the test on Saturday we may have to wait until Monday or Tuesday to find out the lab results... She is on an antibiotic already, but if it comes back positive, I have to call EVERYONE who has been in close contact with her for more than 30 minutes over the last 11 days so they can call their doctors and be medicated.  Seriously, it's crazy!

We did however get a new membership to our local YMCA! The boy ducklings are in sports and swim lessons and I have been utilizing their fitness center! The oldest duckling is in soccer and basketball, and the younger boy duckling is just in soccer and swim lessons.  It makes us crazy busy, but we are all enjoying it! Which going to my statement above, I will have to let the YMCA daycare know that the duckling has Pertussis and they will have to put out a warning to all parents... ugh just great!  But onto a happier note, we leave for Florida in a few weeks for a two week vacation! Then as soon as we get back we don't have much time at all until the Hubsters BCT graduation!! 

He is doing very well.  He had the best score in the simulation for his PLT (platoon) and he had the best shot on the fire range for his platoon.  He is actually really liking it there and is feeling more guilty that he likes it and I am at home stressing over everything, lol. I'm just happy he's not miserable because that would just make me more miserable!

Alright, well I am off to get some stuff done! I will try and be back on soon!

I promise I will get back to it!

I haven't been putting much effort into my blog and I apologize.  This week has been very rocky! I have barely cooked, we've ordered in or had sandwiches, and I have not made anything fun nor creative.  We will however be making Valentine's this weekend!! That should be fun!

I heard from The Hubster tonight and I was on cloud 9!! He gave me his battalion number and company letter.  We talked for like 45 minutes and it was just so wonderful.  Since I had a good cry last night, everything has seemed much more optimistic!  I am sad that after tomorrow I will probably be cut off from phone calls and relying only on letters.  Because there is no guarantee that SIT will be able to call home, I have been trying to prepare myself NOT to expect any calls.  It all depends how strict their platoon is, if someone screws up and loses the phone priviledges for every one, and so on... I am just more excited to have his address so I can start sending him the letters I've written already.

I miss him.  But today I have not felt like my chest is going to cave in on itself so it has been a little more of a relaxing day.  It's funny the little things you start to realize they did before they left that you never really appreciated and now you miss them doing it.  It goes to show how much we depend on each other without even knowing it.  He really is an amazing man and I am so thankful for him and all he does.  We have our ups and downs, and it has been a helluva 6 1/2 years married, but we have made it through everything that has been thrown at us.  Some of it we made it through my the strand of a hair, but we did it.  And we are so much stronger for it.  I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world ;)

But I promise I will really try to get back to doing the crafty, foodie, thing :)

Thanks for all the reads and I hope you all keep coming back :)

I won't slob

So I'm going to try and not slob all over my blog feeling sorry for myself. Honestly I don't think it's so much as feeling sorry for myself, but more being lonely and pouting about it. It's so frustrating.

The hubster has been gone a few days and I was finally able to have a good cry. It was frustrating not crying, when you have a constant lump in your throat and weight on your chest. But I finally did and I feel a little bit better.

I got a phone call this evening. He hasn't slept in over 40 hours and he sounded drunk on the phone, but it was so good to hear his voice. I miss him like crazy and I won't lie, it's hard. It's hard having the love of your life being so many miles away. It's hard to see your kids cry because they miss their dad. Even the dog is acting out! It's hard when you realize all of the simple tasks they did and you were so used to them doing them you forgot to tell them how much you appreciate them. Having melt downs in grocery stores because of buying chicken he may want or not want. It sucks. They don't lie when they say "no matter how prepared you think you are, you are never fully prepared." Its the truth and its not that enjoyable. But, we are going to make it through this and embark on the journey that is the Army.

It's not easy saying "see ya soon"

I survived the first night without him. I slept on the couch and only got a couple hours of sleep, but at least I got some, right?!

Yesterday was hard. It's hard to let half of you go. He's going to be away for so long that's it's hard not to cry and feel like your world is crashing in. 10 weeks of basic wouldn't be so bad, but going straight on to AIT is so much harder. The kids handled it better than I thought. Hopefully we see mostly good behavior while the hubster is gone.

I am so proud of my husband. He is such an amazing daddy and husband, and now he'll be a soldier too. My heart just swells with pride for him. I love you J.A.D. And we'll be right here waiting for you when you get home my love!


Daddy and his ducklings

Murphy's Law

Well as I had talked about in a previous post, I hear many army wives talk about Murphy's Law coming into  full swing when their soldiers leave.  I am hoping we are getting ours out of the way before he leaves.  The sick dog, the eggs, my melt down in the middle of a grocery store, and now the middle duckling is sick.

So let's start at yesterdays melt down...
I needed to go grocery shopping, we went past our 10 days of my last frugal shopping (See: Frugal shopping day from an earlier post).  It pretty much means I set a budget and go shopping every 10 days.  So we were pretty much out of groceries.  Thanks to the Hubster cashing in his Vacation time, we had some extra money so I decided to stock the house yesterday on can goods and snacks for the kids.  I generally don't buy prepackaged snacks because of the ingredients and also because that is the easiest way to wrack up your grocery bill, but every once in a while I do it for them :)  Well in the middle of the grocery store I was looking at chicken, and normally I buy skinless-boneless chicken breasts because that is what the Hubster prefers.  It hit me at that moment that I could buy a whole chicken if I wanted to because he is leaving us soon and I won't be making it before he leaves.  That realization was like a bomb exploded in my face.  It felt like my chest caved in and I couldn't breathe.  It was like the weight of the world had been placed on my shoulders, and in the middle of the meat department I had a full-on anxiety attack that included sobbing.  Luckily the grocery store was not very busy at all, but there was a very sweet elderly woman who came over and asked me if I was alright.  I was so embarrassed I couldn't get any words out.  She stayed by my side rubbing my shoulder/back until I calmed down.  After about five minutes I regained my composure as best I could and I thanked the woman for comforting me and I briefly explained that my husband was leaving for the military and I thought I was prepared for all of this, but I guess not.  She was so very sweet, I wish I would have gotten her name. 

It made me realize though, that I have been so concerned with the ducklings and the Hubsters happiness and keeping the peace, that I have been bottling up so many of my own fears and anxieties.  I just wanted to make sure that the Hubsters last few weeks at home were calm and peaceful, and that we had plenty of family time and good memories.  After yesterdays meltdown I am feeling much better though :)

Then this morning the middle duckling comes into our room and says he feels like he's going to puke... Anyone who knows me well knows that after the puking episode of December 2010 I now have what I like to call stomach virus PTSD, or vomit PTSD... We had such a nasty virus that the oldest duckling was treated for dehydration and the littlest boy duckling was treated for a herniated stomach and vomiting blood... yeah it was miserable.  The Hubster and I had it too, luckily our episodes of sitting on the toilet with a puke bucket in our laps was over within 8 hours.  But it was horrific and I would never wish that on anyone I love ;)  So this morning I grabbed the puke bucket and had the duckling lay in our bed watching a movie and sure enough within 15 minutes he was puking.... (KNOCK ON WOOD) that was 4 1/2 hours ago and he has not puked since and he has kept down 2 Popsicle and some pedialyte.  But he is running a fever now.

I have been walking around wiping everything down with vinegar, and then peroxide just trying to get rid of any lingering germs!  I also washed all of our sheets, blankets, and pillow cases, just to make sure.  I sent the hubster and the older duckling to my moms to help snow blow and chop wood, hoping that getting them out of the house will save them from getting it too...

So that's that.  Praying no one else vomits and we get through the next few days without anymore meltdowns :)

Happy Saturday!

Texas Roadhouse Rolls- Copy cat recipe

One day I had a craving for Texas Roadhouse Rolls and the Cinnbutter.  After a few attempts of my own, I realized they were coming out waaaay too heavy.  So I went on the hunt for the perfect recipe.  Some of them were okay and others were just "meh".  Then I found this recipe at 365 Days of Baking and so far *I* think it's the best one I found!

I was really unfocused with my baking today.  I have heard many Army wives talk about Murphy's Law showing truth shortly after their spouses leave for BCT or Deployment... well the Hubster hasn't even left yet and it seems that Murphy's Law is starting to show it's face around here already.  After dealing with a really sick dog (we thought he had a blockage), I decided to bake today and pulled out the carton of eggs for the recipe only to drop them and break every.single.one of them! Oh yeah...awesome.  So I ran to the store and grabbed some eggs... so far, all is well, and I got to baking some Texas Roadhouse Rolls (copycat recipe) and some Cinnbutter (also, copycat recipe).  Oh and I also kept forgetting to take pictures, so the pictures are not all that great and a couple blurred... awesome... But here it is:


I made 13 smaller rolls that I froze for future raising and baking, and I made 12 HUGE ones for us to snack on the next few days.

INGREDIENTS:

4 tsps. active dry yeast
1/2 cup warm water
2 cups milk, scalded and cooled to lukewarm (directions on scalding below :) )
1/2 cup plus 1 tsp sugar, separated
3 TBSP melted butter, cooled slightly. (Plus some for brushing the finished rolls)
7-8 cups flour (I used about 7)
2 Whole Eggs
2 tsps. of salt

In the bowl of an electric mix, dissolve yeast in warm water with the teaspoon of sugar. I mix it with a whisk and let it sit for a minute or two, to make sure it foams and bubbles--to make sure the yeast is good! If it does not foam/bubble, dump it and get fresh yeast!



Using your dough hook, mix in the milk, 1/2 cup of sugar, and about 2 1/2 cups of flour to form a medium batter. Mix thoroughly and allow it to stand until light and foamy; about 8-10 minutes.

*FORGOT TO TAKE A PICTURE!*

Add melted butter, eggs, and salt. Beat well. Add enough flour to form a soft dough.



Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface, and allow it to rest for about 10 minutes.
While dough is resting, prepare a large bowl by spraying it with cooking spray, or as I do, put a small about of oil in the bowl and smear it around with a paper towel, lol :)

Knead the dough until it is smooth and satiny. Place into prepared bowl and turn over coating in oil.



Cover bowl tightly with saran wrap (plastic wrap) and set to rise in a warm place until it has doubled in size, about 1-2 hours.



Punch dough down.

On a lightly floured surface, use a lightly floured rolling pin, flatten the dough into a rectangle about a 1/2 inch thick.



Fold the rectangle in half vertically, so it's now about an inch thick and lightly roll together to seal the sides.



Allow to rest for 10 minutes, then with a dough scraper, cut the rolls into desired size.

Place the rolls on a greased baking sheet (I prefer using parchment paper), cover with a damp towel and allow them to double in size, about an hour or so.



Doubles in size (I forgot to take a picture, so here's an oven shot ;) )



Preheat oven to 350*F and bake rolls for 10-15 minutes or until golden.

The Hubster and middle boy duckling dug into them before I could take a picture ;)



After removing from the oven, brush with melted butter and enjoy :)

Cinnbutter Recipe:
1/2 cup butter (1 stick, room temperature)
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup honey
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat butter until it is smooth. Add other ingredients and whip until all ingredients are well blended, stopping to scrape down the bowl.

I left my butter too close to the oven and it began to melt...




These really are magnificent tasting rolls. We took some on a winter family trip with my in-laws and everybody loved them!! I hope you enjoy them too!!


SCALDING MILK:
Scalding milk is a very simple process! It's not something you can buy, but if you have a sauce pan and milk, you can do it!  To scald milk, you simply bring it to the brink of boiling! That simple.  So heat the milk and as you see the foaming bubbles starting along the edge and steam rising from the milk, you have now scalded your milk :)

Walk the walk...

When I know there are big changes coming I like to be as orderly as possible.  Sometimes I love the chaos of it all, but with the thought of him being gone, it breaks my heart and I am not being very orderly.  Some may have noticed I haven't added any recipes or craft stuff, or anything that seems fun for a blog... I just have been so focused on keeping my kids busy and making these last few days together as enjoyable as possible, but I feel like I am so off my normal routine that it makes things worse.  A part of me is anxious for him to leave just to get into a routine again!  But it keeps becoming more and more real that he IS really doing this and HOW long he will be gone!  When I really take a moment to think about it, it's like a 50lb weight is on my chest.  Or my shoulders.

When I try to talk to people close to me about this, it's the worst feeling in the world when they have a "you knew what you were signing up for" attitude.  But please someone explain to me why that is supposed to make this any easier?  Explain to me why I am supposed to be okay with half of me being gone for over half a year? Just because we signed up for it to better our lives?  I thought the people treating me like my husband was dying was horrible until this whole attitude started.  I am not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me or to take pity on me, but at least try to be understanding! When I really need help, please be there as best as you can be if you can at all.  But don't tell me you are going to help me and be there for me and the kids and then be nowhere to be found when I truly need someone...  Okay now that this vent is over...  I will admit I do have some pretty amazing friends and family, but I won't lie, I've already made a mental list of who I won't count on so much because of past experiences ;)

But now that I have vented and the Hubster lazily sleeps on the couch, I think I am going to go bake :)

Have a fantabulous day :)

It's days like today (and yesterday) that I dread

(This is from Yesterday: January 28, 2013, saved it as a draft and forgot to finish it)"
I knew from the moment we signed up for military life that the Hubster being gone was going to bring days of sadness, loneliness, frustrations, and so much more.  He hasn't even left yet and today I just feel sad.  I was able to bury the sadness most of the day, until I got an email from the oldest ducklings teacher.  We know he has anxiety problems, and obsessive compulsive behaviors, and all of that affects his sleep.  He doesn't sleep well at night and he has night terrors often.  It's heart breaking to think that he's struggles with so much, and the closer it gets to his dad leaving the worse it gets.  He was recently put on medication to help him fall asleep at night and so far he's done well on it. I'm pretty much anti-medication for children, in the sense I like to try everything "natural" first, like diet change, calming remedies, etc... but it has gotten to the point of really needing something for him.  It is making the Hubster feel very guilty for leaving, and it's making the household more tense. 

Today: January 29, 2013:
Finishing where I left off yesterday, I think we are all officially set for the Hubster to leave.  Our POA is done, utilities/car insurance/etc. are ready to go, everything from his list is bought and packed, and we had our big blow-out fight this morning.... I think we are ready to go. Everything is better now, but this morning was not good. Not good at all :(  I have tried my best to keep things as stress-free before the Hubster leaves, but this morning it unraveled.  Hopefully that is all done and out of the way.  

Valentine's Day early... and a "remember why" basket

It's getting closer and closer to saying farewell...

We've got our power of attorney in order, our checking is all set up, utilities are ready to go, and he's done working.  Tonight we are celebrating an early Valentine's Day and I am very excited for it! The boy ducklings are going by their grandma's and after the girly duckling goes to bed, I am cooking us a nice homemade chicken alfredo dinner and we are going to curl up with a bottle of wine!

Normally we do a lot of romantic things for Valentine's Day, we never really buy gifts for each other, we feel they are overrated, buying gifts for each other doesn't keep our love and passion for each other strong.  But we will buy something if we know it has true meaning to the other.  Instead we try to DO something romantic.  I will admit, I am usually the one who comes up with the more "fun" non-traditional ideas.  For example, the Hubster idea of romance include: taking me to our local football field and "touring" the area and then giving me a superbowl jersey signed by my favorite player... or leaving hershey kisses in a trail leading to the bedroom with roses and candles all over... so not bad stuff, just more traditional or expected ideas.

My ideas can be "traditional" but I always try to put a fun spin with sentimental meaning to it.  Our first sweetest day together he had to work, which it was only Sweetest Day, so I was not too concerned about it.  Instead I decided to go to his place of work, break into his car and fill it with streamers, balloons, a HUGE stuffed dog and a card.  I was nervous that he would find it too lovey-dovey, but he loved it and took pictures so he could show his mom.  So that same year for Valentine's Day we went to a small Italian restaurant that his parent's friends own, and it was the most romantic setting with dim light, Italian music, and candle lit dinners.  He bought me flowers and then took me back to our place where he had the Hershey kisses example above waiting.  Well to lead into my story, after a few years of being married and having ducklings, I wanted to rekindle our romance.  I decided a scavenger hunt would be fun, but I had to figure out how to do it, where to lead him, and where to end.  I decided to use the GPS, roses, and the Italian Restaurant from our first Valentine's Day.  He thought I had to work that night so he was not expecting much.  I put 6 locations in the GPS and labeled them clues 1-6.  I left a rose at 4 different locations: his sisters house (she was the reason we met and he was dropping the kids off there); the place he kissed me for the first time (my parent's front step); the place he proposed; and the place we were married.  On each clue I wrote about what that moment or place meant to me.  The last clue led him to the Italian restaurant where it made him believe he was just picking up dinner to bring home and I put our home address as clue 6 in the GPS to make him believe it more.  The catch was, I didn't have to work and I was there waiting at the restaurant for him.  The smile on his face when he walked in and saw me was heart melting and priceless.  We enjoyed a very romantic dinner and went home and had a very romantic evening together.  He said that was the best Valentine's Day he could ever imagine.  It's those moments that keep our love alive and remind us how much we mean to each other.  If we just went to dinner and bought each other something like jewelry or tools, it shows nothing IMO other than be able to buy each other something.  Instead we are reminded exactly why we fell in love with each other.

Tonight, since we are celebrating early, and he knows the plans, but I have thrown in a small surprise.  Army life can be hard.  It's scary to think that his duties are going to come above the family, that he can be called out at anytime and he has to go, no matter if it's our anniversary, birthdays, Valentine's day, etc. I know it can put a strain on many marriages, so tonight after we eat, I am going to have us curl up in the living room with a bottle of wine and we are going to put together a "remember why" basket.  It will entail letters we write to each other of exactly why we love each other, some of our most favorite memories, cherished memories, and it will include a bottle of wine.  If we ever feel things are getting too hard, we will pull out our "remember why" basket and spend an evening doing exactly what we are going to do tonight, but we will read our letters instead of write them. 

In 6 1/2 years, if there is one thing I have learned, it's that marriage takes a lot of hard work, and whether we want to accept it or not, so does love.  We have to work hard to stay in love with each other.  I had a very hard time accepting that, I felt being in love with each other shouldn't take hard work, but after fighting to save our marriage around year 3, I have learned how much romance needs to be a part of our lives, with kids or without.  We need to work to remind each other no matter how hard love is, we are still in love with each other.  It became even more real after I watched my mom lose my dad, the love of her life.  It made me appreciate what I still have and made me think of what life would be like with him gone.  It really made me realize how much I want to fight to keep that love, my love, my best friend.

I know we will get through our time apart and hard times to come, and we will have our "remember why" basket just in case we ever start to forget.

So enjoy your love, no matter how hard it seems.  Put pride aside and think about how much that love means to you and how hard you are willing to fight for it.  Happy early Valentine's Day ;)

Busy Bee!

We had a very lazy morning! We are watching our niece who is almost 2 and she is a wild one, in a good sense, but between her and our littlest duckling, we have been on our toes.  I finally got motivated and now I just bleached the heck out of the boy ducklings bathroom!  It's the only thing I don't like about having boys, they pee all over, and sometimes on purpose. . .   Like my almost 5 year old who thinks it's okay to try and kill flies with a stream of urine (o.0) That's mah boy...

My next project is our front closet/utility closet.  Then it's on to the kitchen.  I am thinking Chicken Alfredo for dinner and then I want to make some homemade cinnamon rolls for tomorrow since the ducklings don't have school (records day), oh and also because it's supposed to be -8 with windchill tomorrow :-(  Not a big fan of the cold here!

I will try and post both recipes.  I admit the Hubster laughs at me when he sees me taking pictures of all my foodies as I cook them.  He's such a putz, which is why I fell in love with him! He also only has 3 days left of work and then he's off until he ships out.  Sigh.... I am trying not to think about it.  It's such conflicting emotions to think I am sad about him leaving, but yet I am anxious for him to leave because the sooner he does, the sooner this all done and over with and we can move onto the next phase of our lives... Alright, well I am going to get back to cleaning, just thought I'd check in.

Banana egg pancakes

Having a lactose intolerant child can be frustrating sometimes. I am currently drafting an entire post on it that I will turn into its own page about lactose free recipes and snack ideas. I always feel frustrated when I find lists of toddler snack ideas and half of them she cannot eat because of dairy. Milk and ice cream are her worst, but cheese and butter affect her too. I haven't tried sour cream or yogurt, but when I was nursing they didn't seem to have much of an effect on her, but neither did me eating cheese, but her eating cheese is a different story, but if I even took a drink of milk, she'd be screaming all night.

We generally substitute goats milk for her and I cook with rice milk also. The issue is how expensive goats milk is. Right now I pay $3.98 a quart, so it adds up quickly.

I found this pancake recipe on Pinterest and she loves them! We love pancakes but I prefer them made with milk and it got costly making them with goats milk. So I made these for her and they were a big hit!!

Ingredients:
1 banana
2 eggs

That's it! Mush the banana and beat in the eggs! Fry in a pan!

Enjoy!

Shopping is done! And I was under budget!

It feels good to have food in the house again! And I am exhausted to say the least. I took the littlest duckling to the doctor, she unfortunately has an ear infection :( but afterwards we went picked middle duckling up from school and hit the stores.

I always go to Walmart first. 1. Because their prices are usually a little cheaper and 2. They price match! I spent the most money there, but got most of my groceries there! I don't buy meats there because I cannot help walking past the chicken and singing "chickity china the Chinese chicken, you eat a drum stick and your brain stops tickin'" lol I don't know why their meats bug me so much but they do. I also picked up a few things I forgot to put on the list and that always worries me because of going over budget. But today I actually stayed under budget ($170) by.... $10 dollars!! Whoop whoop! It always excites me when I pick up a few extras and still end up under budget!!!

We then hit up Pick n Save. I only bought stuff I had coupons for and they had on sale for less than what I can get at Walmart. I spent 48.06 at Pick n Save and 110.56 at Walmart! I saved 16.94 at Pick n Save.

As you will notice in the picture below, much of my stuff is generic brand, and I take no shame in that. I use to hate buying generic but I learned to doctor it up and deal with it. When you save .20 on 5 things, that's a dollar saved and if you keep doing that, it adds up.

So this is how I do it, my shopping trip prep that is. I go through all of my cupboard, my fridge, and my freezer the day before.  I take stock of what we have, get rid of anything expired, and take note of what is about to expire.  I then go through the grocery store ads and figure out what is on sale and make a shopping list from there.  On my list I write the items needed on the left side of the paper and then I make two columns on the right.  One is for MY estimate of what that product will cost and the other is for writing in the actual cost while at the store.  Yes, I am one of those ladies who is in the store with a binder, my list, and a pen in my hand, and I manage to do it with children with me ;)  But I enjoy it and it saves us money :)  By writing down what *I* think the price may be, I can see how close I am to our budget, and I ALWAYS try to estimate up because I would rather be under my budget than over! By writing out the actual cost, I can better plan for the next trip when I need the same product!


So here is my loot and for $160 I think I did fairly well, especially picking up quite a few extras that were not on the list.  It should feed my family of 5 for 10 days, and then some, but I have two boy ducklings in a growth spurt, so we'll see ;)