It's getting closer and closer to saying farewell...
We've got our power of attorney in order, our checking is all set up, utilities are ready to go, and he's done working. Tonight we are celebrating an early Valentine's Day and I am very excited for it! The boy ducklings are going by their grandma's and after the girly duckling goes to bed, I am cooking us a nice homemade chicken alfredo dinner and we are going to curl up with a bottle of wine!
Normally we do a lot of romantic things for Valentine's Day, we never really buy gifts for each other, we feel they are overrated, buying gifts for each other doesn't keep our love and passion for each other strong. But we will buy something if we know it has true meaning to the other. Instead we try to DO something romantic. I will admit, I am usually the one who comes up with the more "fun" non-traditional ideas. For example, the Hubster idea of romance include: taking me to our local football field and "touring" the area and then giving me a superbowl jersey signed by my favorite player... or leaving hershey kisses in a trail leading to the bedroom with roses and candles all over... so not bad stuff, just more traditional or expected ideas.
My ideas can be "traditional" but I always try to put a fun spin with sentimental meaning to it. Our first sweetest day together he had to work, which it was only Sweetest Day, so I was not too concerned about it. Instead I decided to go to his place of work, break into his car and fill it with streamers, balloons, a HUGE stuffed dog and a card. I was nervous that he would find it too lovey-dovey, but he loved it and took pictures so he could show his mom. So that same year for Valentine's Day we went to a small Italian restaurant that his parent's friends own, and it was the most romantic setting with dim light, Italian music, and candle lit dinners. He bought me flowers and then took me back to our place where he had the Hershey kisses example above waiting. Well to lead into my story, after a few years of being married and having ducklings, I wanted to rekindle our romance. I decided a scavenger hunt would be fun, but I had to figure out how to do it, where to lead him, and where to end. I decided to use the GPS, roses, and the Italian Restaurant from our first Valentine's Day. He thought I had to work that night so he was not expecting much. I put 6 locations in the GPS and labeled them clues 1-6. I left a rose at 4 different locations: his sisters house (she was the reason we met and he was dropping the kids off there); the place he kissed me for the first time (my parent's front step); the place he proposed; and the place we were married. On each clue I wrote about what that moment or place meant to me. The last clue led him to the Italian restaurant where it made him believe he was just picking up dinner to bring home and I put our home address as clue 6 in the GPS to make him believe it more. The catch was, I didn't have to work and I was there waiting at the restaurant for him. The smile on his face when he walked in and saw me was heart melting and priceless. We enjoyed a very romantic dinner and went home and had a very romantic evening together. He said that was the best Valentine's Day he could ever imagine. It's those moments that keep our love alive and remind us how much we mean to each other. If we just went to dinner and bought each other something like jewelry or tools, it shows nothing IMO other than be able to buy each other something. Instead we are reminded exactly why we fell in love with each other.
Tonight, since we are celebrating early, and he knows the plans, but I have thrown in a small surprise. Army life can be hard. It's scary to think that his duties are going to come above the family, that he can be called out at anytime and he has to go, no matter if it's our anniversary, birthdays, Valentine's day, etc. I know it can put a strain on many marriages, so tonight after we eat, I am going to have us curl up in the living room with a bottle of wine and we are going to put together a "remember why" basket. It will entail letters we write to each other of exactly why we love each other, some of our most favorite memories, cherished memories, and it will include a bottle of wine. If we ever feel things are getting too hard, we will pull out our "remember why" basket and spend an evening doing exactly what we are going to do tonight, but we will read our letters instead of write them.
In 6 1/2 years, if there is one thing I have learned, it's that marriage takes a lot of hard work, and whether we want to accept it or not, so does love. We have to work hard to stay in love with each other. I had a very hard time accepting that, I felt being in love with each other shouldn't take hard work, but after fighting to save our marriage around year 3, I have learned how much romance needs to be a part of our lives, with kids or without. We need to work to remind each other no matter how hard love is, we are still in love with each other. It became even more real after I watched my mom lose my dad, the love of her life. It made me appreciate what I still have and made me think of what life would be like with him gone. It really made me realize how much I want to fight to keep that love, my love, my best friend.
I know we will get through our time apart and hard times to come, and we will have our "remember why" basket just in case we ever start to forget.
So enjoy your love, no matter how hard it seems. Put pride aside and think about how much that love means to you and how hard you are willing to fight for it. Happy early Valentine's Day ;)
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