When I know there are big changes coming I like to be as orderly as possible. Sometimes I love the chaos of it all, but with the thought of him being gone, it breaks my heart and I am not being very orderly. Some may have noticed I haven't added any recipes or craft stuff, or anything that seems fun for a blog... I just have been so focused on keeping my kids busy and making these last few days together as enjoyable as possible, but I feel like I am so off my normal routine that it makes things worse. A part of me is anxious for him to leave just to get into a routine again! But it keeps becoming more and more real that he IS really doing this and HOW long he will be gone! When I really take a moment to think about it, it's like a 50lb weight is on my chest. Or my shoulders.
When I try to talk to people close to me about this, it's the worst feeling in the world when they have a "you knew what you were signing up for" attitude. But please someone explain to me why that is supposed to make this any easier? Explain to me why I am supposed to be okay with half of me being gone for over half a year? Just because we signed up for it to better our lives? I thought the people treating me like my husband was dying was horrible until this whole attitude started. I am not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me or to take pity on me, but at least try to be understanding! When I really need help, please be there as best as you can be if you can at all. But don't tell me you are going to help me and be there for me and the kids and then be nowhere to be found when I truly need someone... Okay now that this vent is over... I will admit I do have some pretty amazing friends and family, but I won't lie, I've already made a mental list of who I won't count on so much because of past experiences ;)
But now that I have vented and the Hubster lazily sleeps on the couch, I think I am going to go bake :)
Have a fantabulous day :)
No comments:
Post a Comment