Chili, or is it Chilli? It's Chili...right? Whatever, it's a Wisconsin Chili

I always spell chili wrong...I can never remember if it's "chili" or "chilli", but either way, it tastes amazing. Or at least the Hubster says so.  The problem I am going to have with sharing this recipe with you is that I never measure the ingredients.... well the seasonings at least.  I go by taste, so what I will do is give you a rough estimate of how much seasoning goes into it, and you can do your best to judge the flavor.  Also, I generally make a large batch at once because we freeze some, or we have guests over to eat, especially for games, so if you want just a single meal for approx. 4-5 people, just cut it in half.

I do not care for kidney beans, I cannot tolerate their texture, so I make mine with macaroni noodles, which I cook and add to each bowl as I eat it because the Hubster doesn't like noodles in his.  But for all my Big Bang friends out there, according to Sheldon Cooper "...Real chili has no beans in it, but you're from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven... Mmmm, this is good... whatever it is" HAHA, I love Sheldon, but my chili is "foreign" too I suppose as it is not a Texas Chili... I'll call mine a Wisconsin Chili... :)



Ingredients:
3lbs ground beef (I use ground chuck)
8 Stalks celery, sliced
1 medium onion, chopped
1/4 c. Chili Powder
2 TBSP Onion Powder
1 TBSP Garlic Powder
3 TBSP Ground Cumin
Salt and Pepper to taste
(These seasonings listed above are for seasoning the meat, so you can alter them to your taste, and again they are estimated)

3 - 29oz. cans of Tomato Sauce
1 - 15oz. can of Tomato Sauce
1- regular size can of diced tomatoes (not sure exactly how many ounces)
15 ounces water (I used the small tomato sauce can)
1/3 cup chili powder (estimated to taste - could be closer to a 1/2 cup.  Sorry, like I said I never really measure)
1/4 cup Cumin - estimated
Salt, Pepper, and Onion Powder to taste.

2 cups macaroni noodles or 2 cans of kidney beans if you prefer.

Start lighter on the seasonings because as the meat and sauce simmer together, the flavor will become stronger.

Put about 2 tbsp oil in the bottom of a 12 quart pot and heat it over medium heat.  cook celery in oil for about 5 minutes and then add chopped onion.  Cook for about another 5 minutes or until onion is tender and then add the ground beef.  Add seasonings from the first list and cook meat until completely browned.  Add tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, and water.  Stir until meat mixture and sauce is blended.  Add seasonings and stir.  Simmer over low-medium heat for about 20 minutes.  Check flavor and add more seasonings as needed. Simmer another 20 minutes.
Like I stated above, I keep the macaroni noodles on the side but you can add them (cooked) about 10 minutes or so before you serve.  Also, the noodles will absorb a lot of the liquid, so if it sits in the fridge over night, the chili may appear "thicker" because of the noodles, another reason I like to add them into each bowl instead of the pot.

I love cheese and sour cream in my chili, generally I use a shredded cheddar, but since I need to go grocery shopping, I improvised with monterey Jack today and substituted sour cream with plan greek yogurt.  The hubster eats his chili straight out of the pot, no additional ingredients needed.

I'm sorry about the estimated measurements, I figured since I made it, I would blog it, so the next time I make it, I will try and remember to measure things out.  Then I will make changes here as necessary, but I'm pretty certain I got it fairly close. *Oh I should add, you can add peppers or ground red pepper to make yours hot! I don't like it too hot, the chili powder is usually enough heat for me!

Blueberry Muffin Bread!

Phew, life has been hectic! With the New Year approaching we are preparing for a family game night with my mom and her boyfriend, my nephew who is visiting, and my not-so-little family :)  I have a couple recipes for you today, right now I am just posting one of them, I will post my Chili recipe a little later as I am making it for the Packer game today! *GO PACK GO*

I have been on Pinterest a lot lately.  As I think about our move in 7 months, I realize I want our Army home to be welcoming and nice so I have been looking through the Home Decor and have found some super cute ideas!  But I still have to look through food and drink because I am always up for some amazing recipes!  I found this blueberry muffin bread recipes here and they call it Erna's Blueberry Buckle, but to me it's an amazing blueberry muffin bread.

She recommends using a 1/2 cup of sugar instead of 3/4, which the original recipe calls for, but I still used a little more than a 1/2 cup and I personally will use 3/4 cup next time, but 1. it comes down to how sweet you want it, and 2. I used frozen blueberries because that is what I had on hand, and with fresh blueberries it may not need to be as sweet!  I also think this bread would be great with different kind of fruits, I am imagining cranberries or raspberries :)

My middle duckling is on his second helping of it, he absolutely loves it! He may be pickier because of his texture and sensory issues, but he is always up to try new things and we often find that he loves many new things and this is one of them!  I will repost the recipe in my recipe section, because this is something I will make for a brunch breakfast with the family, or even like she suggests, Easter morning!  I am also curious to try this with plain greek yogurt!

oh and I also used a longer glass pan because I couldn't find my 8x8, and it turned out a bit more thin, but it still tastes delicious!




The middle ducklings second piece :)

Chobani Chocolate Cake

This recipe is no secret, but it's my first time trying it.  A friend of mine told me about baking a box chocolate cake with plain greek yogurt and water, instead of oil and eggs... She said it saves on calories and it still tastes amazing... so why not give it a shot when you have a random box of chocolate cake in your cupboard and one container of chobani plain yogurt left?!

I used one chocolate cake mix, 1 cup chobani yogurt, and 1 cup water.  I baked it according to the directions in two 9in pans, and frosted it and enjoyed.  The little boy duckling loved it! And so did I! I won't lie, I totally destroyed the calorie friendly thing by adding a scoop of ice cream ;) lol.  It was delicious.  I also want to find a better chocolate frosting recipe to make it even healthier... that will be my next project.

So in conclusion... the chobani chocolate cake... was AMAZING!

Recovering!

I hope everyone had a fantabulous Holiday!  I am recovering from all of our festivities! I have something very exciting in the oven that I hope to share with you!!! Keep an eye out for details to come!!

Homemade Gifts and Merry Christmas!

It's been a busy few days!! The fruit roll ups I tried to make didn't turn out so well.  The pan I was using to make them "popped", so all of the blended fruit ran to one side. So one side was over dried and hard to chew and the other side was still goopy... I was highly disappointed.  I was even more disappointed to find out that I managed to screw up my fudge too... The outside of it set beautifully, but the inside was like a thick chocolate frosting... It tasted amazing, but I couldn't package it for gifts. So I am going to remake the fudge tonight!

We have a busy day here, we have to clean, cook, do some laundry, but I have everything wrapped, minus the homemade gifts that need to dry....Oh and it's Packer Day!! *GO PACK GO*

So we always make homemade gifts for grandparents, teachers, bus drivers, and so on.  This year I was really trying to think of ideas to give to our parents knowing that their hearts are heavy with the thought of Hubster enlisting in the Army and us moving away before next Christmas.  My in-laws were hard to make for and they ended up with two gifts.  One I had made here and it turned out great.  It's a sign that is personalized with all of the grandkids and their birthdays and then I sent it to walmart to be printed on a canvas.  Unfortunately I didn't put the order in at walmart soon enough so we won't get it until after Christmas.  The Hubster had a gift certificate to Best Buy and decided he wanted to buy my in-laws a webcam.  I think it's an amazing idea and I really hope they appreciate why their son bought it for them.

My mom is an avid baker, cook, and grandmother.  She loves her 4 grandchildren so much and is completely heartbroken at the thought of us moving away.  So I thought we'd do the salt clay hand prints, but the boy ducklings have such mitts for hands, ornaments would be a no-go.  So I found a cute idea on pinterest and went with it, and this is what we came up with:

Oldest Duckling:



Middle Duckling:



Littlest Duckling:



I personally love them! I think they are going to mean the world to my mom. There names, current year, and age are on the bottom, but I kept that out of the picture for now.


I think one of my most favorite gifts I had made was for my brother who is an engineer, and he is amazing at math, but horrible at spelling, so I had a shirt made for him that says:

I'm an
Engeneer
Enginere
Enginere
I'm good with Math

lol I am so excited to give it to him, I think he will find it hilarious! I am just so excited for Christmas. Spending time with family, eating great food, and watching the joy on every one's faces as they open their gifts. Hubster and I decided the year the oldest duckling was born that we wouldn't give each other gifts until the ducklings are grown. Our gift to each other is the joy on our children's face Christmas morning. We find it important to teach them about Christmas and they know Santa is for fun and Jesus is why we celebrate Christmas, but no matter how much we do not want Christmas to be about presents, the joy on our children's faces on Christmas morning is heartwarming.

So enough babbling, I have rolls, fudge,and bread to make and a house to clean. I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

A Christmas Tradition: Cousin Christmas Cookies!

For the past three years my sister-in-law and I have gotten together with our ducklings to make Christmas cookies for Santa! We just make sugar cookies and let the kids go crazy decorating them, and this year they did!!

This year we cheated and just bought tubes of sugar cookies and waited to the last minute to get decorations, but they still turned out great! The kids just went a little heavy on the frosting.

We sat talking about what will happen next year after we move because of the Army. I plan to fly home for Christmas if we can so I told her all will be okay. We'll keep our tradition going some how. I made a joke that she should just move with us wherever we go and she said she's seriously been thinking about it..,. I consider it a blessing to have one of my sister-in-laws as a best friend and she is the whole reason I even met her brother when we were in high school. Anyways...

The kids have a lot of fun together and although things get chaotic, K and I love every bit of the chaos.

Snow Day!

Well it's more of a Mother Nature cannot figure out what she's doing day... But the boy ducklings were called off school. Right now it's raining turning the snow to slush! eww.  But it's supposedly going to turn back to snow this afternoon.  The Hubster had to go into work because of inventory, and that made me one nervous wife...but he got there safely, and he will have off tomorrow and all of next week for Christmas break, that's the nice thing about his current job.

So what do we do on a snow day, seeing as this is our first school snow day?! We started it off with a delicious home cooked breakfast of eggs and bacon!! The little duckling is lactose intolerant (to all dairy, and it's horrible when she even takes a single drink of milk :( ) so I specifically made the scrambled eggs with goats milk so she could have some too... now for anyone who has seen the prices of goats milk, it is NOT cheap.  I noticed yesterday that the price went down .20, but I am still paying $3.98 for a quart... a QUART! It's ridiculous, but the baby loves her milk! Well my dumb-butt added cheddar cheese to the eggs *face palm*, so I had to pick the cheese off of hers and they were fine.  The bacon... the best bacon ever...home-raised pig! No we do not raise pigs, but my brother raised one last year and as a belated Mother's Day gift to our mom and myself he gave us half of a pig, so we have plenty of organically raised pork in our freezers!! The ducklings loved it.




So now what do we do?  The baby duckling is napping and the boy ducklings are playing cars, doing crafts, and watching movies.  I am thinking today is a good day to make more homemade goods! I am thinking of making some fruit snacks, fruit roll ups, fudge, and more cookies!  I will post next about our Christmas cookie making adventures of last night with my sister-in-law and nieces.  I didn't get to take as many photos as I wanted because 1. I was busy assisting ducklings, 2. I was baking cookies and 3. my phone died, but we had a lot of fun!!!

I will post later about my homemade goods!!

Last night I decided to attempt my own acrylic nails, and they didn't turn out horrible.  My house still smelled like a nail salon this morning, but my nails look some-what pretty.  I figured a $8.00 Kiss Nail kit was cheaper than $35 to get my nails done, and on top of that, my favorite place to get my nails done went out of business :(  So I attempted it myself.  They aren't horrible, and the cheap kit wasn't too bad, but if I keep it up I am going to have to get a better brush for applying the acrylic...





They look better in person, in my opinion, but they will get me through the Holidays!

Remember to check back over the next couple of days for fun Christmas baking adventures, homemade goods, and the randomness that is me <3

Help me! Ahhhh

Dramatic title may be a little much... But I really need to find my motivation. I've been bugging around online all morning and cleaning in between. The pretty princess duckling is sick :( and the two prince ducklings are at school so I need to find my motivation. I did post my banana bread recipe under the recipe link, but I just found like 377272910 recipes I want to try from Pinterest! Darn you Pinterest. I do have to get the house cleaned though because my beautiful sister-in-law is bringing her ducklings over to bake Christmas cookies tomorrow!! Pictures to come of course!! I also still need to make all of our homemade Christmas gifts!!! Ahhh yeah I'm a little behind. . .

On another note: we had our Army orientation last night. It went fairly well. It's a little more exciting now that I have a better understanding of how things will work. It just seems surreal yet. I do have eight months to continue getting rid of crap and because I'm so OCD and refuse to let a moving company pack my things I also have eight months to pack lol.

On a better note from Sundays post: I have not heard back from my doctor yet but I'm assuming that may be a good thing. I know it takes a while to get the results, but I'm guessing if something really bad had shown up he'd have called me right away.

So recap: no motivation, feeling more secure about the hubster's decision to enlist in the Army, and I'm assuming nothing horrible showed up on the MRI. OH! And don't forget to go check out the new recipe!!!

Rough weekend...

Thursday night, I thought I was having a stroke... no joke... over dramatic, sure, but seriously, no joke.  I was sitting down and I had a stabbing pinching pain in my head and within a few minutes the right side of my body was tingly and numb.  My husband got me calmed down and I eventually fell asleep.  After talking to some friends, it seemed that flash migraines can cause stroke-like symptoms and it's not horribly uncommon.

To make myself feel better I went to see my doctor.  I waited over an hour from my appointment time and was starting to freak out because I had to get the oldest duckling off the bus.  I finally got a hold of our neighbor and she got him off the bus for me.  Finally my doctor came in and I told him about everything, all while trying to keep the younger ducklings in order, and Doc started to do some strength checks.  It really started to freak me out when I realized I didn't have much strength in the right side of my body.  I couldn't grip his fingers, I couldn't push or pull his arm, and I couldn't rock on my heels or stand on my tip-toes.  As I tried each new task he asked and realized I couldn't do it, I started to panic.  I knew from the look on his face that something was wrong.  He told me he wanted a CT scan of my head right away.  I told him I'd have to set up for babysitters, and while he called over to the hospital to set the CT scan up, I called my mom and asked her to go get older duckling from my neighbor.  I told her about the scan and she went to get him right away.

The doctor came back in and we had a little discussion about why he wanted the CT scan right away.  He told me that strokes are not likely in people my age, but a bleed in the brain or a tumor are.  He apologized for being so straight forward, and then told me if they see a bleed he is admitting to the hospital right there on the spot.  At this point I started sobbing.  A bleed in my brain? Are you kidding me? I left his office and called my sister-in-law asking her to take the younger ducklings and told her why, and she freaked.  I dropped them off and then went to the hospital.

The CT scan was easy-peasy I have had them done before because of my kidneys and ovaries.  At least they didn't have to give me the dye that makes you feel like you're peeing yourself ;)  The doctor asked the tech to tell me to wait there until he got the results and could call and talk to me.  The tech informed me that because it was Friday after 5pm it could take about an hour...whoopee! It actually only took about 35 minutes and my doctor called.  He said they spotted no bleeds! I let out a sigh of relief and he told me that the radiologist even double checked it when he explained my symptoms.  My relief dissipated a little when he told me he wants me to come back for a MRI.  He explained that it could very well be flash migraines, but usually your symptoms go away after a few hours, it had been over 16 hours and I still had not regained strength so he wanted to make sure there was no other underlying cause.  Which, in case there is, I should be thankful for.

I went back to the hospital on Saturday for the MRI.  I'm claustrophobic so I was very nervous.  Luckily they put that awesome face guard over my face and it has a little mirror on it that looks out towards your feet, so you actually feel like you are not so enclosed.  They put headphones on me and played "Cher Lloyds" station on Pandora.  The noises didn't bug me so much until the machine started making a really high pitched beeping noise.  I was ready to squeeze the little ball she gave me to squeeze to get her attention because I thought the noise was going to make me start convulsing.  I was starting to panic and thought I was going to black out.  Since I got pregnant with the littlest duckling I have had super sensitive hearing, for example our local walmart has an aisle that is eggs, yogurt, butter, etc.. and the cooler makes a high pitched noise that nobody ever seems to notice and I cannot stand it, it makes me feel like I'm going to black out... crazy, huh?

Anyways... The rest of the MRI went fine, it lasted about 45 minutes and then the MRI lady walked me back to the Hubster.  I was so intent on asking questions about why the machine makes different noises, I forgot to ask her when my results should be in... hahaha of course I'd be the one to side track and ask questions about a fascinating machine!  Today I have had a headache most of the day, at one point I was in bed with all the lights off and no kids allowed, so I'm really thinking it's just migraines, but who really wants to live with migraines? :(

So if you're passing by and read this, say some prayers or send some thoughts.  I am really optimistic that nothing will show up, it's probably just the migraines and maybe a pinched nerve I'm thinking...  But this week I am hoping to post about our homemade gifts for the grandparents and also some new yummy recipes!!

Why the Army, and the bumpy road enlisting

Back-track story:
In 2009 the Hubster was laid of work for almost 10 months.  He struggled to find work and decided to enroll in school online.  Finally, in 2010, he found a job at a local factory, but he was miserable.  He decided to look into the Military.  He did a lot of research on the Army and the Air Force.  He spoke with an Army recruiter in late 2010 but decided at the time it wasn't for him when he landed a new job at a company better suited for him.

Fast Forward to October 2012:
He was still at the job he started working at in 2010 and was still going to school for criminal justice (bachelors degree).  Although he wasn't done with his degree yet, he had been applying for multiple policing jobs.  In our area the policing jobs are very competitive, and with so many officers being laid off, it made it even harder to find a job.  He became very discouraged and as his graduation date (Dec. 3, 2012) grew closer, the stress of finding a job grew as student loans were going to need to be repaid.

I don't remember the exact date, but it was about the beginning of October when he got a random phone call from an Army recruiter.  They called him while he was at work, so he didn't take the call and didn't get a chance to return it right away.  That evening he came home and we casually went about our evening -- me having no idea yet that he even got this phone call-- and after the kids went to bed we curled up on the couch as usual.  He randomly brought up that he had gotten a call while at work from an Army recruiter.  I thought nothing of it and sort of laughed it off.  Then he said enlisting was back on the burner... I was honestly shocked.  There had been no word of the enlisting since 2010.  We pulled up the computer and started to do some research together.  He was really torn, so we made a pros and cons list.  I told him his best bet was to talk to the recruiter about any information he can get, but to remember that recruiters are like car-salesmen.  He started working with a recruiter and as he became more sure about enlisting, I became more unsure.  Our families are having a really hard time with his decision, and although I have my worries and fears, I will support him 100%.  We finally explained to both of our families that the more they put us down and discourage Hubster from enlisting, the more appealing it is...

The whole process of enlisting for us has been stressful.  The Military doesn't like when you have more than two dependents under the age of 18 and well... we have 3.  So we have had to provide all the usual information and get multiple letters from DH's school saying that he will finish school December 3, 2012, and he cannot leave for BCT until he has his diploma in his hands --and well handed to the recruiter-- otherwise he will go in as a lower pay grade and that will do us no good...  We also misplaced the oldest ducklings SS card, so I had to go through the process of getting a new one.  We then discovered that one of the ducklings used our marriage license as a coloring book, so I had to go get a new copy of that.  It was all starting to feel very stressful.  So after the Hubster got his final grade on Monday Dec. 10, 2012 we could order his diploma... well something went wrong and it didn't give us the option to rush order it -- otherwise we risk not getting it before he leaves-- and we had to go through three or four phone calls and a few emails just to get the rush put on it, including paying $$ for it...

Oh and for him to go to MEPS was a whole other stressful situation.  Hubsters boss was giving him a hard time about taking off of work, so the recruiter sent Mr. Bossman a letter stating that if he penalized the Hubster in anyway he faces a lawsuit from not only us, but the government too.  Well that shut him up! Then the Hubster took off two unpaid days of work to only get a call an hour before he was supposed to go to the recruiters office to go to MEPS to find out they bumped him from the list because he wasn't leaving for BCT right away... So he missed one day of work, went in for the second day, but then had to get two more days off for the next week.  Then at MEPS, they "ran out" of time and he didn't get to choose a job that day, so they sent him home and told him he'd be going back the next week to sign contracts and be sworn in, and that is was he did yesterday on 12/12/12... Sigh, it's been a long process... and Monday the 17th we go in for orientation.

It's a little sad to think the ducklings and I will be living alone for 7 months (with BCT & AIT), but I am sure we will do just fine.  I am actually thinking of getting the Hubster an iPhone after BCT so we can facetime with the kids and each other.  I'm excited for this new journey, but scared to death of moving away and being alone.  I just hope I can find one other Army wife near me who isn't catty, and is a true friend... and that the Army doesn't make me more bat-shit crazy than I already am ;)

Revamped

My blog is officially in the process of change! The big announcement I told you about the other day... The Hubster has joined the Army.  I was waiting until he was sworn, which occurred yesterday.  He leaves for BCT in February, followed by AIT for 15 weeks.  So you are literally getting a look into my life as an Army Wife from the very beginning.  I will still focus a lot on B.E.D. but I will broaden my blog to so much more (I hope!)

Lots of Loves xoxo

This is me. This is real. It's my life, not an excuse.

Every once in a while I like to click on my blog and try and perceive from an outsiders point of view.  When I think of someone I do not even know reading about me and my issues with food, it actually doesn't bother me as much as knowing that someone I know is reading about it.

I try to keep my posts up beat and to be honest about what I deal with, but the thought of sharing my posts on Facebook makes me cringe.  I have shared a few of the recipes and I know that will lead people to look around my blog, but it's hard for me.  I feel embarrassed about my eating disorder and I often sit here and think about what people I know must say about me after reading my blog and it nearly breaks me.  The sad part is, I don't even know what they are saying.

I know my disorder is not as bad as some, my episodes don't occur as often as some peoples and they aren't always as bad as other peoples, but they do happen and they make it really hard to manage my weight.  Having three ducklings hasn't helped in the weight area either, I knew I wasn't going to be one to just "spring" back, but I want so badly to have my confidence back that I had long before having children.

So if you know me and you read my blog, please don't judge me or think poorly of me.  B.E.D. is not an excuse for people who like to eat, it is a genuine disorder that works like many other addictions.  It's real and I am trying to do something about it because I know I am better than this.  Every time I feel someone is putting me down for my weight, it leads me into a whole new spiral of self doubt and even self pity, which often leads to one step back.  I know it has been said by the wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but as I struggle to over come so much, I need kindness and support, not snide remarks and judgmental comments and looks.

I will do better, for myself, my children, and my husband.  And I owe a huge thank you to my wonderful husband for standing my every step of the way.  He has never put me down for my weight gain, nor has he ever expected me to lose weight for him.  he is supportive and wants me to do well, for me, not anyone else.  He may drive me crazy, but I couldn't ask for a better husband.

If you have any questions you can email or leave a comment here with your email.  I am always up for a good chat.

Family Trip...but pants still fit!

Every December we go on a family trip with my in-laws to the Wisconsin Dells.  This was our third year doing so, and every time we come home, we get hit with some kind of illness.  The first year we ALL got hit with a nasty nasty nasty stomach virus.  The oldest Duckling was nearly hospitalized for dehydration after 3 days of severe vomiting, the middle duckling was taken to the ER with a herniated stomach and vomiting blood from severe vomiting, and the third duckling was a few weeks from being conceived ;)

Last year, only the middle duckling was effected.  He had pink eye in both eyes... poor kid, his eyes were swollen shut and then I had to bust my butt to keep everyone else from getting it.

This year, the Hubster started a cold before we even got up there and by Saturday had pretty much lost his voice.  The oldest duckling started the cold Saturday night and today is Monday and he is home from school.  I have been stuffy, but no cough or anything.  But now... My stomach is super queasy... and I am praying to the Lord above that it does not involve any kind of vomiting.  Especially because the youngest duckling has her 15 month check up today...

On a better note, after 3 days of family filled fun and lotsa of comfort food, I am still fitting into my pants just fine!  I actually didn't eat as much as I would have in the past.  I am loving this new supplement I am taking.  I will get into more "public" details about it soon! Some business is not everyone's business, yet.

So I am living on pepto and praying nothing more comes of this queasiness, and still trying to drink my 120oz of water for the day, but the tummy is NOT helping!

Oh and Wednesday or Thursday I will have an announcement to make.  This announcement may actually lead to a complete overhaul of this blog including the title.  I will still focus a lot on B.E.D. but I may have reason to incorporate a lot more of my life into it.

MMM, Snacks...Yuck Calories...

I had a friend say to me that her biggest downfall with her weight loss is her snacking. She always wants to eat. She eats in her car, when she's at home, and other places too. Snacking is not bad, it's just a matter of what you are eating. If you are snacking on Little Debbies, Potato chips, and other junk food on a daily basis, then of course weight loss will be hard. Human's need fruits and vegetables, not processed foods. Some processed foods are going to make it into our diet, that's just life, but let's try to reduce them.






So think basic. Basic snacks. My mom may have taught me comfort cooking, but she also taught me that every time she leaves the house, she has an apple, banana, or orange with her, and also a reusable water bottle. She constantly has a jar of peanuts in her car too. So I try to follow her lead. The problem is every once in a while I find a soft piece of fruit at the bottom of the diaper bag. hahaha. Ok, but seriously, these ideas can help. Going out for the day? Carry some carrot and celery sticks in a tupperware with water, bring a piece of fruit, or a baggy of my favorite: trail mix (see FOOD, yumminess Ideas). Changing your snacking habits will make a huge difference!

From an old Blog: Fork in the Road

So I had started a blog last February about not being a fat mom any more... Little did I realize at that time that I was going to need a lot more help than dieting.  So here is a blurb from a post I did last Spring... it still amazes me what I realized but still have problems controlling... This is from March 19, 2012:

I went the wrong way last week. Totally let crap take over, in which I ate crap... So what does this mean. I still haven't lost weight. Well really I gain and lose the same 5lbs all the time... It's sickening really. Two of the ducklings and I went grocery shopping last week. I bought mostly healthy foods, but because I was hungry, which is a HUGE NO-NO when grocery shopping, I bought 4 boxes of Little Debbie's cakes/brownies. Is it excusable if I say they are all the Special Spring cakes and brownies? ... the worst part, is when I pulled a pack of the cakes out and just so happened to look at the back of the box... 360 CALORIES!!! I gagged on that damn cake... Seriously. That is the amount of calories I take in for breakfast with my body by Vi, the rice milk, and the fat-free hot chocolate packet. Seriously. It really made me realize why so many people are obese. We shove this crap in our mouths and don't even realize HOW many CALORIES we are taking in! It's sickening. Do people realize one-quarter pounder with cheese from McDonald's is over 1,000 calories. This means most people who eat McDonald's are taking in almost all of their daily calories (based on a 2,000 calorie diet). Sickening. We then go on to eat two other meals plus snacks. Some people will read this and say, 'well duh' but really think about how MANY PEOPLE don't realize this, and keep eating like this.

So it comes down to this fork in the road. Which are you going to take? The one where you live to eat, or eat to live? As humans we only need what is essential to us, enough to keep us alive and healthy. Instead we let gluttony consume us and addiction takes over. I am not just calling others out, I am calling myself out. I have been raised to have a love for food, and not in the Eat, Love, Pray kind of way. In the 'I am so stressed I am going to bake and cook until my heart stops working' kind of way. And when you make the stuff, what do you do? You eat it. I eat it. I really want to overcome this. I have tried to educate myself with the food pyramid, with books like "Eat Right for Your Blood Type" which could be a bunch of phooey, but the thing is, it has opened my eyes to what a basic human needs and what we binge on. It's sad really. So here is to hoping I can figure out how to make myself better, so maybe I can help someone else out there make themselves better. Especially my children. Which path do you want to take with this fork in the road?

My bad...

Wow...So I am really bad at this blogging thing.  I think about the blog all the time, but feel like I have not done much different in my own life to bring it to the blog.  But really I kind of have! I am going to get better at this whole blogging thing, I just need to stay motivated and reach out to people.

Sassy pants is sleeping, so I'm going to go push out a workout (12 minutes-high intensity-amazing!) I'll be back with some good stuff!

Sorry I disappeared...

Well, life has been hectic. And well I have been procrastinating dealing with my issue of over eating. I have the phone number for a therapist who specializes in Eating Disorders, but do I call? Nope. Procrastination? maybe? Fear of facing my problem? I think so! Truth is, I am stubborn. I am determined to do it myself. But for me, that means researching my heart out, but not applying it to myself.

 Right now, I feel like putting myself down, saying I am this way because I am a stupid, stubborn, fat woman. It frustrates me when my mind naturally goes to the negative image I hold over myself. Why do I feel like such a crappy person when I know I'm not?! Questions for the therapist I procrastinate calling?! HAHA!

The truth it, I don't want B.E.D. to control my life, or this blog. I am considering renaming it. To what, I don't know. But I want this to be about bettering my life as a whole. Working on living even more frugally, working on being healthy, and being the best mom and wife I can be. I need to organize my mind, otherwise I get too overwhelmed by trying to do too much at once. Baby steps, right?!

I actually found a blog that I love, and its about living frugally and I love it! I will try and figure our how to link up with her because I aspire to be similar to her! So now I guess would be the time to mention that I am 100% new to blogging and I am still learning the ropes, so please, please, be patient with me! And if you have any questions or positive comments please feel free to share.

Where to Start? I need help!

I was reading an article the other day when I felt like I was sucker punched in the gut.  I didn't realize what I was reading until I read "if you hide eating food by eating more food in the car..."  Well yes I have done that, on more than one occasion.  ::Insert blushing face::  I went back and read the entire article in close detail and what I was reading about was Binge Eating Disorder.  It was like the wind had been knocked out of me as I kept rereading this article becoming more and more overwhelmed with emotion.

Who am I? Well Hello, I am Cassie, a mom of 3 kids, a wife, a now-graduated student who will be going back to school, a-gain, daughter, sister, cousin, and friend.  So where did my eating disorder begin? Well as far back as I can remember, I have always been an emotional eater, but I didn't realize how much I relied on food until I was in high school.  I have a feeling this came from being self-conscious.  I have never been skinny, but I was thin-ish.  I am 5'8" and I have always been about 10lbs more than my "healthy weight".  After high school I put on a small amount of weight, but it wasn't until I had my first son "E-man" that I really put on weight.  I put on 50lbs with his pregnancy and only got about 35 of it off when I found out I was pregnant with my second son (Beebsta- they are 16 months apart in age) and I put those 35lbs back on.  After my second son was born I started going to the gym and I got myself only 10lbs from my original post partum weight.  My weight yo-yo'd for the next year or so.  I tried lo-calorie diets, lo-carb, and lo-fat.  I usually made it about two-weeks and then gave in to my binges.  I would obsess about food and not in the good way.  My cravings for food become worse than when I was pregnant.  Anytime my anxiety or depression were catching up to me I would turn to food.  In February 2010 a customer of mine told me that she and her daughter did the HCG diet and had amazing results, and out of my desperation to be thin again I decided to try it.  I made it 18 days before I finally fainted from the diet.  I woke in so much abdominal pain and after a trip to the hospital I learned I had OHSS- Ovarian Hyper stimulation Syndrome.  When I did my research on the HCG diet, no where did I see the risk factors for OHSS.  Now if you google them, you can find quite a few articles and stories on the connection between HCG diet and OHSS.  The doctor was sure he was going to have to take out my left ovary, but by the miracle of his own hands, he saved my left ovary.  A week after all of that, the worst day of my life occurred, my dad died unexpectedly.  He was 59 years old, an over the road truck driver, and he died at a rest area in North Carolina, 17 hours from where we live.  He was alone, luckily there was a restroom attendant there who found him shortly after the heart attack happened.  After my mom, brother, and I returned from NC with my dads ashes, I turned to food.  I had lost 40lbs in 18 days on the HCG diet, but never completed the maintenance phase.  I started going through 1 large bag of Lays BBQ chips a day! Yes I said a day! They became my comfort food.  I would feel like I was going to have a panic attack if I didn't have them.  40 days after my dad died, my sister was found dead.  Her death is a little more complicated, but it was the second worst day of my life.  Not only did I lose my daddy, I now lost my sister, my best friend.  Following shortly after her I lost both of my grandfather's.  In 5 months I had lost 4 people.  Within 8 months I had gained 50lbs.  January of 2011 I found out I was pregnant with our third baby.  Because I was so ill during her pregnancy I didn't gain more than 7lbs, but broke even when I delivered her.  She is going to be one in just over a week and for the past year I have been obsessing about how I am going to lose the weight.  My doctor wanted me to try the South Beach Diet.  After phase 1 I had dropped 20lbs and was on cloud nine! As soon as the 2 weeks were up and I could start adding carbs back in, what did I do? I binged. I put 9 of the 20lbs back on...

So here I am researching about eating healthy.  The sad part is, I know most of it.  I know how to eat healthy, how to watch my proportion sizes, and how to balance my foods.  But why is hard to APPLY it to my life?  I think the answer is, is because then I would be taking away one of the only comforts I know, FOOD!  My next post will explain to you what B.E.D. is about.  If you found my blog looking for help with trying to lose weight, or learning a healthier lifestyle and you realize this may be what you are struggling with, well I invite you to take the journey with me.  This is going to be hard, and I am willing to help and support anyone who is willing to do the same for me and take on the challenges.