I promise I will get back to it!

I haven't been putting much effort into my blog and I apologize.  This week has been very rocky! I have barely cooked, we've ordered in or had sandwiches, and I have not made anything fun nor creative.  We will however be making Valentine's this weekend!! That should be fun!

I heard from The Hubster tonight and I was on cloud 9!! He gave me his battalion number and company letter.  We talked for like 45 minutes and it was just so wonderful.  Since I had a good cry last night, everything has seemed much more optimistic!  I am sad that after tomorrow I will probably be cut off from phone calls and relying only on letters.  Because there is no guarantee that SIT will be able to call home, I have been trying to prepare myself NOT to expect any calls.  It all depends how strict their platoon is, if someone screws up and loses the phone priviledges for every one, and so on... I am just more excited to have his address so I can start sending him the letters I've written already.

I miss him.  But today I have not felt like my chest is going to cave in on itself so it has been a little more of a relaxing day.  It's funny the little things you start to realize they did before they left that you never really appreciated and now you miss them doing it.  It goes to show how much we depend on each other without even knowing it.  He really is an amazing man and I am so thankful for him and all he does.  We have our ups and downs, and it has been a helluva 6 1/2 years married, but we have made it through everything that has been thrown at us.  Some of it we made it through my the strand of a hair, but we did it.  And we are so much stronger for it.  I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world ;)

But I promise I will really try to get back to doing the crafty, foodie, thing :)

Thanks for all the reads and I hope you all keep coming back :)

I won't slob

So I'm going to try and not slob all over my blog feeling sorry for myself. Honestly I don't think it's so much as feeling sorry for myself, but more being lonely and pouting about it. It's so frustrating.

The hubster has been gone a few days and I was finally able to have a good cry. It was frustrating not crying, when you have a constant lump in your throat and weight on your chest. But I finally did and I feel a little bit better.

I got a phone call this evening. He hasn't slept in over 40 hours and he sounded drunk on the phone, but it was so good to hear his voice. I miss him like crazy and I won't lie, it's hard. It's hard having the love of your life being so many miles away. It's hard to see your kids cry because they miss their dad. Even the dog is acting out! It's hard when you realize all of the simple tasks they did and you were so used to them doing them you forgot to tell them how much you appreciate them. Having melt downs in grocery stores because of buying chicken he may want or not want. It sucks. They don't lie when they say "no matter how prepared you think you are, you are never fully prepared." Its the truth and its not that enjoyable. But, we are going to make it through this and embark on the journey that is the Army.

It's not easy saying "see ya soon"

I survived the first night without him. I slept on the couch and only got a couple hours of sleep, but at least I got some, right?!

Yesterday was hard. It's hard to let half of you go. He's going to be away for so long that's it's hard not to cry and feel like your world is crashing in. 10 weeks of basic wouldn't be so bad, but going straight on to AIT is so much harder. The kids handled it better than I thought. Hopefully we see mostly good behavior while the hubster is gone.

I am so proud of my husband. He is such an amazing daddy and husband, and now he'll be a soldier too. My heart just swells with pride for him. I love you J.A.D. And we'll be right here waiting for you when you get home my love!


Daddy and his ducklings

Murphy's Law

Well as I had talked about in a previous post, I hear many army wives talk about Murphy's Law coming into  full swing when their soldiers leave.  I am hoping we are getting ours out of the way before he leaves.  The sick dog, the eggs, my melt down in the middle of a grocery store, and now the middle duckling is sick.

So let's start at yesterdays melt down...
I needed to go grocery shopping, we went past our 10 days of my last frugal shopping (See: Frugal shopping day from an earlier post).  It pretty much means I set a budget and go shopping every 10 days.  So we were pretty much out of groceries.  Thanks to the Hubster cashing in his Vacation time, we had some extra money so I decided to stock the house yesterday on can goods and snacks for the kids.  I generally don't buy prepackaged snacks because of the ingredients and also because that is the easiest way to wrack up your grocery bill, but every once in a while I do it for them :)  Well in the middle of the grocery store I was looking at chicken, and normally I buy skinless-boneless chicken breasts because that is what the Hubster prefers.  It hit me at that moment that I could buy a whole chicken if I wanted to because he is leaving us soon and I won't be making it before he leaves.  That realization was like a bomb exploded in my face.  It felt like my chest caved in and I couldn't breathe.  It was like the weight of the world had been placed on my shoulders, and in the middle of the meat department I had a full-on anxiety attack that included sobbing.  Luckily the grocery store was not very busy at all, but there was a very sweet elderly woman who came over and asked me if I was alright.  I was so embarrassed I couldn't get any words out.  She stayed by my side rubbing my shoulder/back until I calmed down.  After about five minutes I regained my composure as best I could and I thanked the woman for comforting me and I briefly explained that my husband was leaving for the military and I thought I was prepared for all of this, but I guess not.  She was so very sweet, I wish I would have gotten her name. 

It made me realize though, that I have been so concerned with the ducklings and the Hubsters happiness and keeping the peace, that I have been bottling up so many of my own fears and anxieties.  I just wanted to make sure that the Hubsters last few weeks at home were calm and peaceful, and that we had plenty of family time and good memories.  After yesterdays meltdown I am feeling much better though :)

Then this morning the middle duckling comes into our room and says he feels like he's going to puke... Anyone who knows me well knows that after the puking episode of December 2010 I now have what I like to call stomach virus PTSD, or vomit PTSD... We had such a nasty virus that the oldest duckling was treated for dehydration and the littlest boy duckling was treated for a herniated stomach and vomiting blood... yeah it was miserable.  The Hubster and I had it too, luckily our episodes of sitting on the toilet with a puke bucket in our laps was over within 8 hours.  But it was horrific and I would never wish that on anyone I love ;)  So this morning I grabbed the puke bucket and had the duckling lay in our bed watching a movie and sure enough within 15 minutes he was puking.... (KNOCK ON WOOD) that was 4 1/2 hours ago and he has not puked since and he has kept down 2 Popsicle and some pedialyte.  But he is running a fever now.

I have been walking around wiping everything down with vinegar, and then peroxide just trying to get rid of any lingering germs!  I also washed all of our sheets, blankets, and pillow cases, just to make sure.  I sent the hubster and the older duckling to my moms to help snow blow and chop wood, hoping that getting them out of the house will save them from getting it too...

So that's that.  Praying no one else vomits and we get through the next few days without anymore meltdowns :)

Happy Saturday!